i got married last year.my husband likes to watch porn...and i am not comfortable with it.....problem is he is not able to share it with me....i told him that we can watch porn together but he says that he's not comfertable with that because it was always been something he was doing alone and all of a sudden he cannot be so open that he can watch it along with me......so he tries to watch it when ever i go to sleep or i am not at home........it hurts....evrytime i go to sleep alone i am feeling that he is watching porn...that may be my insecurity......i try to find out next day that was he watching porn or not...and when i find that out i hurt myself.....all my feelings for him just go away.....i don't feel like wearing sexy clothes or do somwthing for him.....i know i should give time to him....so that he is able to share his personal life with me...but till then what should i be doing...how should i handle my expectations.....need help so that i am able to think in a proper way and i don't want to hurt our relation ....<BR>also i have discussed this with him..but everytime he tells me that hope i am able to understand why i do that.....still haven't got any answer for that......sometimes he do feel that he is not doing good at work...or he is not good enough... and then he is frustrated ....and watching porn might just help him to get out of it for a while....but i don't think this is the right solution....but for him it is....what should i do......<BR><p>[This message has been edited by sonna26 (edited December 28, 2000).]

I tend to think that if this is something that is bothering you, he should be making every effort to eliminate it. He is not listening to you and how you feel. You are not wrong in the way you feel, so please do not let him make you feel that you are wrong, or that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. Now, if you were a woman who didn't mind if he did it, then it wouldn't be a problem. But obviously, it does bother you, it causes you to maybe not trust him so much, and it is causing you to have low self esteem. Does it make you feel less desirable to him? Have you expressed exactly how you feel to him, or do you let him talk you out of it? If you haven't expressed yourself clearly, this is something you should think about doing. Many men don't know what is going on in a woman's head unless it is completely spelled out. Many men aren't so in touch with emotions or feelings like women are. Men and women are just created differently. So, ask yourself why it is that it bothers you so much. Whatever you are feeling is valid, and I'm sure you just want him to validate those feelings. Being ignored by him will only hurt more, and would be very insensitive. Are you guys intimate with eachother? Does he have a sex problem, or intimacy issues?