I haven't seen this topic on the discussion board. If it is and I missed it, I apologize.<BR>We have been married 7 years, my two children are grown and living on their own.<P>Six months ago my SD (stepdaughter) moved in. She is 14. Her mother could no longer handle her behaviour (staying out late, talking back), plus her mother was in the midst of separating from her husband. My husband and I discussed it and I agreed that she could come and live with us (it was suppose to be for one school term, now its until she is finished school). Prior to her moving in, she was arrested for shoplifting. I then wanted to discuss the issue about her moving in more, since I was concerned about her behaviour and also, who would be here to ensure that she followed rules and didn't get into further trouble since we both work and are out of the house 10-12 hours a day.<BR>My husband told me that if I didn't let her come here, he would take her and leave. This statement has literally ruined my marriage. We started fighting on a weekly basis, and the fighting escalted when we had to deal with the daily events of having a 14 year old in the house. He believes that I put him in a difficult situation by "dragging my feet" about his daughter coming here, when I had already said that she could. He says that he knows that he was wrong to say that he would leave but he felt cornered and didn't know what to do. I believe that he should have respected my concerns enough to delay his daughter coming here (she could also have gone to her grandmothers for a few weeks since it was summertime), and addressed my concerns. <P>The whole thing has been handled very badly and I am at the point where I am wondering if it would be better to call it quits. I am so tired of the fighting, and feeling stressed all the time. We argue weekly, sometimes daily about issues concerning her. I have become very resentful towards him and my SD.<P>Has anyone been through a similar experience? I really am at my wits end about what to do.<P>Sorry for the long post.<BR>

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Hi Hanora:<BR>Thank you for taking the time to reply. That is good advice and I will definatley try it. <BR>I guess the other issue is my resentment at what he said to me 6 mos ago. "If you won't let my daughter come then I will take her and leave". Especially when what I wanted was some time to think about if this was the best decision for all of us in light of her shoplifting and our long hours away from home. <BR>Those words have caused a big rift in our relationship and has caused numerous fights. <P>Any suggestions on how to get past the anger and resentment?<P>Many thanks<P>Sharie

Hi Sharie,<BR>This situation is something that really added to my separation with my wife. See under prayer requests, TGattino.<BR>Ok, You have some things that can be quickly resolved if you will take the time to understand what the real issues are. You may have read on here that I recomend a book called Boundaries (Townsen and Cloud). This book has REALLY helped with my daughter and me. It will also help with your husband and give your family peace. Please get it at the Christian bookstore and if you want, e-mail me back letting me know if you have any questions or anything I can help out with. I am also intersted to hear about your results. They will be amazing! God Bless, You will all be fine IF you take action now before it gets out of hand. Ted