me and my wife have been mariied for 5 years and about a month ago she left me.ever since then i have admitted my faults while being married but i have never cheated on her but she did about 3 years ago but now she said that all that happen is he gave oral sex to her and she stopped the whole thing but about 2 years ago she told me she had sex with him and ever since then i have been holding all my pain inside until about 3 months ago but ever since she has left i have tried to kill myself 2 times and 1 time of the 2 infront of her i am going crazy she won't listen to what i have to say.i try to tell her that i have changed and i have gotten counsiling and i ask her if she wanted to go she said no.but now i think i can't go on no more this is my last resort if i can't get no help i will just end it all.i really do need her in my life so my question is can someone here help me find the words or stuff to do to get her to come back home?cause my gun is ready for mr to end it all can someone please help me out?

Big mike,<P>Firstly let me say that I am still going thorugh hell having caught my wife cheating on me for over two years, so it seems I am no expert in marriage.<P>I think you need to get something straight, though Mike, and this may hurt you. Remember that I'm just a stranger reading your words and can only tell from what you wrote. <BR>You, yes YOU, are being selfish. You say you have admitted to faults but don't say what they are. You tell us that you want to kill yourself and you clearly want our sympathy although you KNOW we can't do anything to stop you. You even made some mock attempt right in front of someone else!<P>"tried to kill myself two times" and yet you have a gun? How badly do you have to aim? Wake up, Mike and get a look at the man that COULD be standing under your hair. He's a guy that has made a solid decision to improve, not just say he has. He's a Man, the guy you could make yourself into. Someone who respects himself and because of that can have the pick of many women, including his wife. The Mike that could be isn't someone snivelling about something that happened 3 years ago but is someone who can let the past go, work to the future.<P>It's good that you are going to a counsellor. Keep at it - it doesn't matter what your wife wants to do right now. When she sees a man who is attractive, my guess is she'll come back or she's not the woman for a self-respecting man. Work on yourself while letting her know constantly that you love her. Listen to all that she has to say; don't disregard any of it without first telling your counsellor about it but don't accept it all as truth either. Read up on this web site to get a fuller picture of how you can help your marriage.<P>Sorry to be hard on you, Mike. I just care.<BR>Best wishes,<BR>Philip.<BR>

Mike, I just read your cry for help. I no that it hurts. But you are asking how to get your wife back. First of all you must pray and ask God to deliver you from the evil thoughts that you have on your mind. (killing your self) Secondly you then must ask forgiveness of your sins that you done while your wife was there with you and most of all the sins you are committing at this time (killing your self). For whatever reason your wife committed adultry she will be held accountable for them. My bible tells me that, that you sow you shall reap. Always remember that. It may not come today or next year but in due season it will come. Mike God loves you and so do I. Stop thinking of killing yourself, thinking that will resolve "getting your wife back" it will not, it would only hurt the ones that truly love you. <P>To answer your questions:<BR>Go to her in love and understanding, let her no how you feel. Let her no that you are praying for your marriage and asking for forgiveness and you are willing to forgive. Take it one step at a time. Do not try rush God's business, because God knows what he is doing. I would like to leave you with this. I want you to prey this pray for one week, believing that God will make a change in your life as well as your wife life.<P>Father, I plead Mike and (your wife name) will speak the truth to one another in love. Mike and (your wife name) to honestly share their feelings without being arrogant or spiteful. Through love and honsety, enable Mike and (your wife name) to work through their differences. <BR>After praying this pray. Read these scriptures Ephesians 4:25; John 4:7, 11.<P>Always remember Mike what God joins together let no man put assunder.<P>

Mike,<BR> I am sorry for your pain.You need to remember this woman is not who you are.You need to be your own person.I am to assume since you never mentioned children that the 2 of you have none.You need to get a grip buddy no one is worth all the above.It feels bad now but you will get over it in time.I would like to no 1 reason you think killing your self would help...Dont you have family,what do you think that would do to them.You are solving nothing by considering that.You would just be inflicting pain on others who dont deserve it.Continue counceling and get thru ,this this woman is not worth it...........<P>------------------<BR>Tracy<p>[This message has been edited by Traci493 (edited June 05, 2001).]