My W and I have been married 6 mos. We have fought often since we were married, and almost every argument has ended with her saying she wants a divorce. I have been able to drop arguments and apologize and comfort her so that she hasn't left, but each time she has said it I have felt extrememly hurt by the fact that it is so easy for her to leave. I don't feel that she compromises at all. Our differences are seen as my shortcomings. <BR> Her life has not been as comfortable as mine. I was raised in a great family without much money, but so much love that I never was left wanting. My family was very verbal and would argue "fairly" very frequently. She is an only child who's father is controlling and verbally abusive. Her first marriage was similar to her father. She does not argue well, frequently resorting to personal jabs or extreme anger. She has very poor self esteem, and doesn't take criticism without going off the deep end. I am feeling hurt by her more and more and think it is only getting worse. I absolutely, positively do not want to lose her. I love her incredibly and ache at the thought of being without her. But I feel alone in this. <BR> We can't agree on many things, but in the past I have been willing to go without having my way. She thinks she does compromise, but I believe that it has been minimal. I would really like to have some more control in my life. I don't think I am being unreasonable, but am not sure. I don't want to put my foot down then find out I was the one being stuborn and childish. <BR> My question is, how can I negotiate with a person who acts like she has nothing to lose by leaving? She says she loves me, and I can tell she is going through so much inner turmoil, but I can't figure it out or even begin to know what to do to help her heal. Every time she starts to feel bad about herself, she turns it on me. I have seen fewer and fewer glimpses of the woman I married, but when I do, I am willing to do whatever it takes keep her and love her. I just don't want to get sucked into her black hole, and I'm not sure how much control I can give up without losing the things I value in a relationship.
