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curious how others would respond
#61814 07/24/01 02:41 PM
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How do you respond to the comment, "do we have to discuss this right now?" Sometimes, I try the Mars/Venus approach and say "when you have a moment, can we discuss something?". But then, he will never let me know when he has a moment! If I waited, days would go by before he gets a moment.
Re: curious how others would respond
#61815 07/25/01 07:15 AM
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Have you tried 'I understand you can't take the time right now but you need to know that this is important to me and we need to take the time for it. When would be a good time for you ?'.<P>Don't make any judgements or get into any LBs but don't let him off the hook either.<P>Good luck
Re: curious how others would respond
#61816 08/05/01 05:37 PM
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Hi,<BR>My H often says that as well. What about saying, " Yes, its better that we discuss it now while I'm feeling calm and rational. If I don't get this off my chest now, then it will start to upset me and then I might end up saying things which I don't mean." This of course may not be relevant to the sorts of things you want to discuss, but there have been a lot of things recently which my H has tried to avoid having a discussion about when I have brought up the subject. As long as I have chosen a moment when he seems reasonably relaxed and not too tired , the above, or something similar has usually worked.I have learned however, that trying to start a serious discussion late at night, say after midnight is not a good idea unless you are both in a really happy mood to start with! Hope this helps!
Re: curious how others would respond
#61817 08/21/01 02:47 AM
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It is best for you both to go for some counselling as it is important that you both discuss your differences openly with a mediator inbetween<P>Get a christian minister to help you both and direct you onto the right path because your relationship needs help and support<P>Write soon<P>Carol<BR>

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