My husband and I recently returned from our 2nd anniversary in Maui. We have been having some problems for the last 4 years (as long as we have know each other) but are very good friends, and continiue to try and work things out, hoping life will be like it was when we first met. We met online and the first 6 months of our realtionship was based on communication and nothing else (since we had never met face to face). When we did finally meet, I moved out to CA and we moved in together immediately, and were married 2 years after that.<P>The day before we left for vaction, we had an arguement, (I think it was over my not being very observant, or not communicating well) and my husband said all he asked for was 10 days of peace on the trip. I said we would have a great time. We ended up arguing a few times and it is the same old thing. My husband is hurt because he feels that when we first met, I described myself as much different than who I really am. He expected me to be that person (who I thought I was) and has been disappointed and feels let down. I have become an insecure, envious, tearful woman and agree with him that I am not the independent, strong, active communicator I once was. I don't know what happened. I also have become very innattentive to details...and miss even the simple things...it is really very frustrating for both of us. My husband doesn't forget a name , face time, word or strand of hair..he is VERY observant and very self confident. He knows what he wants, and how to get it. The problem is I don't anymore! It is almost like I forgot how to make upn my mind or make deciscions! I was even seeing a psychotherapist for awhile. She said I was "clincally depressed and had me taking Wellbutrin for a year. It didn't seem to help too much. I just feel like every word I say is wrong to him sometimes. He also says I am extrmemely negative in my attitude, which I would also agree on, most of the time. <P>So basically, where we are at is this: He said I need to decide what kind of person I am..who I am...and let him know. If he knows who I am now, then we can rearrange how we deal with things and see if we can work orlives enough to stay together. Otherwise, he said if I choose to ignore and pretend like everything is ok..than it isn't going to work. His biggest fear (he said) is that I don't know who I am. And I think he is right. I don't know what to do and would really like some insight or advice from someone out there who might eb able to relate???<P>Thank you!
