Garnet, It's been months since you posted and your situation has been on my mind. There are 2 good books for you to get at the library or bookstore. The author is Gary Smalley who is a Christian Relationship counselor and speaker. The books are "Making Love Last Forever," and "Secrets To Lasting Love." They are written from a Christian perpective. Gary describes himself in the early stages of marriage as being a "bulldozer" who ran over his wives' feelings, and how it took years for him to take a good look at what he was doing. These are very suppotative books. Also check out his site at smalleyonline.