Last night, I attampted to follow the POJA with my H. Please critique:<p>Issue: H's once a week tennis playing and not getting home until after 8 pm.<p>H's POV:
Enjoys playing tennis
I'm not good anough a player for him
Enjoys the social aspects
Wants the exercise<p>My POV:
I would like to spend some time with him recreationally, but don't want to play tennis
I am resentful of the massive amount of recreational time he has due to my leaving my dream job so he could have his. My present job requires me to spend 50-60 hours a week whereas I spent 40 hours a week in my other job. Leaving this job is impractical because I have built up retirement and would have to start over, just like I did when I left my dream job so he could have his.<p>Brainstorming:<p>We came up with a lot of ideas for recreational time together including with other couples to meet both his and my needs.<p>Result:
H says he will spend more time with me, but insists that he MUST play tennis with these other people every week. I suggested that he at least come home after the games instead of going to the local tav after. He says no. If he does not get to play and go to the tav every week ,I am controlling him and being selfish.<p>There is a two-page portion ot SAA that addresses this same situation. I showed it to him. He says he disagrees. Now what?

Can't you find someone else to play tennis with at the same time...increasing your ability along the way...then get together after for the socializing? Just a thought.