We have been married for over 20 years, and have several children. For the last year, my husband has often wanted to avoid climaxing while having intercourse (even though we use birth control). Approximately half the time we have sexual activity, he wants to not climax inside me. He says it doesn't matter whether he "goes" inside me. He wants me to finish him outside, so there's no chance of making me pregnant. He says he's afraid of getting me pregnant. We've been very careful with birth control over the years, and I feel sure the only times I've conceived are those times that we didn't use it. (We've learned to always use it.) I am afraid that he possibly doesn't enjoy as much being inside me as he used to. I've afraid that maybe it doesn't bring him as much pleasure. (I'm older now, have had kids.) He says that's not it at all. He just likes to not worry about the messiness of birth control and says that once and awhile it's just "nice to lie back and relax" and that it isn't because he doesn't enjoy me. It still worries me though. He's very loving, passionate, and pleasing to me. I don't understand why he's changed this way. Any thoughts on this?

Speaking as a man I am not sure you need to worry about this yet. It may be that your H is just trying to add a new spark to your love life. Maybe he is trying to recreate some of the newness of sex. And, he may be honest in his concerns as well.<p>Men get turned by things that are strange to women. No news there! Maybe he is turned on by the thought of you seeing him come. Rather than letting this get in the way, you might try asking him how you can enjoy this with him. Ask what he would like you to do. You might start by just holding "him" the next time he withdraws and helping him to climax. Watch his eyebrows raise at that one! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>If you are getting loose inside you might try something my wife is using. We have been married for 24 years and have 5 kids, so we know that "things" do change. Here is the link where we found the best info and price.
www.kegelmaster2000.com<p>Hope this helps!

Hi!
just a thought, if your H is afraid of you getting preg. why doesn't he get operated? My H did that years ago and it's great not to have to think about any birth-control. I too have 2 children and had problems as I was too wide. This I got operated last year. (virginal rebuild) It wasn't painful and it took 3 weeks for me to recover. Since then our sexlife has become as great as it was before having any kids!!!!

I would also like to say that my H sometimes finishes outside. Either by my hand or his own. It turns me on to watch. I just lay with him and caress him. It's just another way...not wrong...just different. <p>FYI, they also selling 'tightening' cream at adult stores/websites. It is temporary but it works. I haven't had any vaginal births but age and gravity do take their tolls. H was delighted with his 'schoolgirl' fit.

Just a warning. Your husband can leak and sperm can swim up regardless of whether he ejaculates inside you. His method is not birth control. You should use something more reliable if that is the true reason.<p>BTW - you can do kegels with great success without any devices. 200 per day if pregnant 50-100 if not.

I dont know if I should say this or not but here goes... You could change possition. Have you ever thought about anal sex? No chance for pregancy and a nice tight fit.. Make sure to use ky cream. Its a must in this area. Just a thought! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]