I hope to be able to get a little advice and I guess vent also. 13 years of being married to a very insecure type A has taken its toll. After having controlled my life and me having sacrificed friends, jobs, hobbies and everything else I think it's over. He told me he wasn't happy shortly before I was diagnosed with ADD and depression. His standards are too high and I don't meet them. I acknowledge this as his problem. Now he thinks that because I have been diagnosed and maybe won't do all those things that have driven him crazy. After 13 years of trying make everything perfect I have no fight left and am not sure I am willing to make amends. Raising 3 beautiful children, I have no job, no skills, no good prospects. Now what do I do?<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>It is not the critic that counts, not the man who points our how the strong man stumbled...the credit belongs to man who is actually in the arena. <hr></blockquote>

Hi, Wendy! (I'm a Wendy, too!)<p>This is what I would do if it were me. I would look for either a job or find a way to get some good job skills. Call around to the social service agencies in your area or the employment office. Anyplace that can help you. It will take a little time to get it all together but good preparation often prevents disasters later on.
Go to marriage counseling--with your husband if he will go, alone if not. Read this site and use its priniciples. It might help make your marriage stronger.
Also research legal info regarding separation, divorce, child support in your state. It never hurts to have a little knowledge under your belt.
I pray that you two can make the marriage work but it's my belief to 'pray for the best but prepare for the worst'.

Hi Windy,
i don't either have no job skills feeling like where do i go what do i do. i have no children so that makes it a little easier for me than u. i have decided to try and get some sort of councleing for myself being that (H) won't try. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] at least that way i can learn how to deal with my feelings and how to take my life back. we have a money issue here, so councleing i thought was gonna be out of the question for me. but i did find out that alot of minsters will do marrige councleing for free, all u have to do is call around your local area in the phone book under churches and ask them. as well alot of outher counclers will go by your income. oh and by the way i don't work either so i know what u mean it makes it hard. i have seziers and a'm under medication for it, sometimes it helps sometime it don't. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] have u thought about applying for ssi income? that will give u a little money. here in IND it is $545.00 a month maybe it is worth calling them. i a'm sorry u are going through this and so sorry i can't think right now to give u more advice. as my head is all messed up [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] please keep us posted as how u are doing ok? god bless u. Cathy