My wife is and has been always be a great procrastinator. She is a very intelligent person with Graduate degree. Write beautifully, but never finish any thing. Organizes and reorganizes but her goal are so high that are never reach. Then on top of that she wants to keep every single piece of paper, magazine, catalog or bills " because she wants to read it eventually, that reading never comes. They she mixes important documents, like letter from the IRS, bills between her catalog, many of them unopened.
There are boxes full of her staff, which she does not allow any body to touch, so there are thousands of catalog etc, with mail in between unopened.
Then of course I have to take over on the finances and look for the papers and pay the bill, and she feels rejected hurts and angry with me because she is not allowed doing the finances of the family. All my children agree that she can do it, but she wont do it on time and regularly.
On top of that she thinks that she can do a better job that any body else, and she will do it two or three times in her life time but at a tremendous cost on herself and the people around, and then the job is so complicated that no body can follow: it is brilliant but practical.
So, here is my current problem. We are remodeling an apartment in which we plan to move after we sell the house. We want to change some doors, the contractor wants 380 dollar for removing the old doors and hang the new door, we will provide the doors. I thing it too high, she think is OK, because the prices have increased. I Suggested that I will talk to the contractor to reduce the price, but she tell me that I will not know how to do it, that she wants to do the negotiations etc. What I see is that the remodeling will never be finish, and then she has insulted my intelligence and my experience, thus removing a good chick of love bank assets.
I’m writing this because I do not know how to handle her, is getting to a point that I want out. But I love her. What can I do?
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Jimmie;<p>I am sorry you are having to deal with this problem. I understand, through experience, that it can be a HUGE thing to balance someones ego with the job at hand.<p>I hired a very good friend to manage my business. We had worked together for two years and she knew exactly what needed to be done to keep things rolling....but alas, she too is a major procrastinator.<p>Long story short....I took a leave of absense [about 18 month] to persue a life long dream and came back to discover my business almost in ruins. It cost me over 30,000.00 in ACTUAL losses not to mention the damage to my reputation and months of unraveling my accounting. <p>In my opinion, your wife must deal with her problem. You must find a way to help her get past this problem.<p>Her inability to make progress must not always have been the case, as you said she has a graduate degree. Those don't come easily. She must have been progressive at one time.<p>What has changed?<p>C&I

Thank you for your kid words.
I help her during her study years more than one way, other wise she will have not finish the job.
She goes in cycles, up and down and it is very frustrating
She does not want any help for any body, specially from me, but then she want to fix my things????? Go figure.
I finish talking on the phone with a psychiatrist, and he agree, as she saw her for two month, until she stood up and walk away from the office.
She will not accept her disease.