My h is always telling how disappointed he is in our sex life. And his conclusion is that it is my entire fault. He sometimes rages about sex issues with me. I agree that our sex life could be better. And I have made changes. He says that he doesn't need to do anything even though I have asked him to consider changing some of his behavior. My beef is that he refuses to address the issues I bring to him that have affected me as a woman and definitely sexually. A few years ago, I was sexually assaulted but not raped. That incident really had and still has made me feel horrible. My h will not talk about it with me - he has said that I am just trying to use it as an excuse and besides he had problems with our sex life before the incident. When I sought out counseling, he got angry and said that he did not feel comfortable with me talking to anyone about that. So I did not go to counseling. But he will not talk about it with me - he says that I don't bring it up right, I have the wrong tone of voice, cry too much about, and that makes him believe that I blame him. And around the same time, my h was having an affair and told me that he did not want me , like me, etc. My image of myself as a woman was shot. I get so angry and sad because he sends me tons of information on what I can do to improve our sex life. Rarely does a week go by that he does not analyze and discuss what I do sexually. And never once has he sent me anything to address the assualt or the impact of his affair on me. I can't reconcile his not even acknowleding my issues and him supposedly being my h, best supporter of me. He says that he loves me and wants the best for me but I don't trust him at all. I feel like he has betrayed me by ignoring my pain. I don't want him to fix it just to acknowledge it. Why is sexual satisfaction worthy of time, effort, and discussion and the assualt & affair are not?
