mspenny,
i do very much believe in being honest, but let me explain how it went for me. i keep my affair, which was only once and not even all the way, with my ex-boyfriend. we have moved far away from him now. i have had a hard time moving away from family and friends. been very depressed, wouldnt look for a job or at least full time. i cleaned for a while. anyway, now i want to stay here and my husband now wants me to leave. I dont want to so he says just stay but it is never going to be the same. i know it wont be but i do love him very much and want it to work. he now is treating me colder and it is killing me. he also tells me the sex is just that sex. That hurts! I know it would not be right, but deep down i wish i would have kept my mouth shut, but i am very honest. Just be ready to deal with the pain and suffering it will cause. i dont know if mine will ever forgive me, and i dont know how long i can go with the coldness. best of luck in making your decision. my husband was more willing to forgive until i stayed here so depressed over my missing family for the last 10 mos. i felt punished because if it were not for that affair, i would be close to my family.
i went for a long visit back home and begged and promised after getting back that i would improve my outlook on my life here, get a job, etc. for five to six weeks i did nothing but look in the paper. i didnt have enough clothes to even work one week without wearing the same thing over and over, so i did nothing, and now he wants me to leave, so i begged some more and now he tells me i dont care just stay if u want to. it will be like we are more or less room-mates. i have told him i want to try but he cant promise me that he wont eventually tell me he cannot ever forgive me. i am now looking for a job, after 6 weeks, but it is the only choice i have if i even want a chance that might not work. it is very hard but i caused it and i want to fix it. people can make that one horrible mistake and still love the person they are married to, but sometimes there simply is no forgiveness from the hurt spouse. i will keep trying till i give up.
thanks for listening to me. i hope this helps some. it helps me to talk about it as i have no friends or family here.
