My husband & I have been married for a little more than a year. For the last six months random women have been calling him on his cellular phone as late as 2:00a.m. When I ask who it is he replies, "a friend." These same women have been sending him text messages ranging from comments like, when are we going to hang out, I miss you, your a great guy, etc. I don't feel that a married man is suppose to be readily availible to any women that wants his number. I truly believe him when he says they are just friends but the calls & messages make me uncomfortable. I believe that a married man can have female friends but limits must be drawn. I have tried talking to him but to no avail. I told him that I did not like what was going on & that I felt that he was not showing me the respect I deserve as his wife. He responds by telling me that they are just friends & that I need to get over my jealous insecurities. Also, he says that he is going to have female friends no matter what & if I don't like it I can leave him. I don't know what to do. I am not happy in this situation. I really feel that these things should not be going on in a marriage. Please tell me & I overracting, I don't think I am but he makes me feel that way. He makes me feel like the only reason why I am unhappy is because I choose to be. Is he right? Am I wrong? I thought I knew but now I am just lost & confused.

((Windycity)): You are not only lost and confused, your gut is telling you something is very wrong.

It is NOT normal for your H to treat you the way he is--it is NOT sensitive, loving or thoughtful for your husband to encourage women to phone him and to entertain them if they are not mutual friends of yours.

I am so sorry I can't give words of comfort just yet--hang in there--make sure you have good some female friends of your own to lean on during this time. Perhaps you should seek some counselling--not that you are the cause of this--but for guidance how to deal with your situation.

I hope some posters wiser than me will pitch in with their thoughts and ideas.

I will be praying for you.

windycity,

Welcome! Read away is what I say! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I really feel that these things should not be going on in a marriage. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are 100% correct! My WW claimed her male friends were just friends too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I hope some posters wiser than me will pitch in with their thoughts and ideas.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would suggest that you post your question under General Questions II. There is a lot of activity and some very wise people there.

Sorry to hear about your situation I have a similar one. My wife and her new bo were just friends to begin with as well. I always told her before she made friends of the OS that men should have frinds of the same sex like wise for women. She agreed. I learned at an early age that it is almost imposible to not create feelings of love for someone especially if there is an atraction. he should not have told you to leave if you didn't like it. like MB states if there is not a mutual feeling of excitment about a decision then it needs to worked out. I think you and HB need to go to a counselor before it gets too bad. always be a listening ear to your spouse, ask him if he thinks it could become a problem. If he says no he's not thinking very clear. if he says yes he's a smart man and he and you need to have a heart to heart.