Has anyone out there experienced this? Approx two years ago while I was pregnant with our third child I dicovered condoms in my H's travel bag. I confronted him and he than proceeded to tell me he didn't love me anymore and didn't know if he ever really did ect... It was horrendous. Anyway that led to a seperation of approx four months and we did finally get back together but that was after I lost all sense of myself and ended my pg. I can't forget all the ugliness that went on between us and now I am so insecure about myself and our relationship. I constantly think did I do the right thing in getting back together with my H. Does he really love me?

How does he treat you now? What did he say to get you back? Is anything differant?

1st--and I know it almost sounds cliched...but go to a marriage councelor. Obviously your h has issues and there is some communication failure here. The councelor can help, and trust me...it is amazing--my h never talked to me, but in ft of the marriage councelor...wow. And he didnt even really want to go. Crazy.
If he wont go, then I have to say I doubt his sinserity in making things work with you.

I feel so sorry for you <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> --Myself, I have not had kids yet. I am terrified of how my h would act during my pregnancy (future h, whoever he may be...I am divorcing present h). I wonder where the real men hide and why I cant find one. All I can find are these imbicile wanna-be rejects.

Thanks for your reply Epiphony. I do believe he would go to marriage T. However I also think he does not want to drag things out into the open again. We have been trying to move forward with our lives together and he doesn't know how I feel but like him I don't want to bring up those terrible times either. I am usually reminded of the situation when we see these particular friends of ours who have a baby that would be the same age as the one we didn't have. I look at that beautiful child and I am reminded of what could have been. I wonder if he does too.

When you attempt to hide a problem, it tends to surface at the worst possible moment. You need to talk this out. You will never know how he feels until you ask. May God Bless both of you.

Unfortunatly, trying to ignore something like what happened to you will not make it go away. I've been there before <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I think that you really need to work through it by demanding his brutal honesty about everything that happened....and then by letting him know what you will need in order for you to trust in him again. If he sincerely wishes to have a good marriage with you then he will be willing to take the steps neccessary to rebuilding trust and love. I also think you need to realize that a wound as large as you have isn't going to heal right away. It might take several years. So you need to ask yourself if your marrige is worth it. It's going to be a battle that you will both have to fight, and with 100%! It won't be easy, but it's something you need to take care of weather you stay in this marriage, or end it. Should you not be able to patch things up, then you get help for yourself so you can have a clean slate in your next relationship.

Wow alot of what I read in your post sounded like me and my H. I have never actually told my story. And now I feel the need to vent or something. So if you want to, read my post maybe you can identify with it. And as for problems, I agree that they absolutely don't go away.It's like, but where do we go from here. How do we get to full recovery. I'm babbling,I think.

Actually I decided not to post my life story. I tried but couldn't finish. Not in a good frame of mind I guess. Good luck with your recovery,I hope your husband does agree to go to MC.And as far as reliving the pain of the past,I am going through it too.We probably need more time. Take it easy on yourself as far as insecurities go, try to think like,if he didn't love you then he wouldn't be with you right? Hope something I said helps.(or even makes sense for that matter)I am very tired right now <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

d'nile-not-just-a-river and others thanks so much for your replies. It was good to hear other outlooks on my situation. I don't talk about this with very many people and only a few know all of the truth. I think we bury our feelings sometimes because dealing with when it is so new is overwhelming. I am worried too that if we don't face the past together it will come back and haunt us in the worst way. d'nile-not-just- a river you can e-mail me if you want. It would be good to talk with someone who has been in a similiar situation. Thanks for your reply.