My husband and I have been married since August of last year. He just got discharged from the military and we are now living back home. I gave up a very good job to go with him and support his career choice of joining the military. Now he is out and we're back where we started from. During our time on the army post, we had difficult times. Then when we found out he would be getting out, I came back home to get a job. We were apart from each other for 5 months during that time. During that time, we had numerous arguments on the phone. Sometimes I wouldn't take his calls just to avoid arguments. Now that we are back together, we are having even more problems. I feel like we are 2 completely different people now than when we met. I will admit I'm not the same. We butt heads on everything from money spending habits to simple thiings like tv shows. It seems like we can't have a conversation any more without making each other mad. And I've often found myself not listening to him when he talks. But I think it's because he explains things like I'm ignorant most times. I just don't feel like we have anything in common anymore and we cannot connect on any level. Does anyone have any advice on how we can get back to what we had before? Thanks.

Slow down Staceyike, I am new to this discussion board, but I do recognise, destruction in progress. Stop and consider what you have right now. A Husband whom you love, with some traits you think are great and some you find intolerable.
Why not try a tactical approach for a limited period. Do not rely on him to make you happy - but not in a resentful/hurtful way towards your husband - Just be content with yourself mind yourself then invite him to join in your happiness.
Try to relax it takes two to argue, you must STAY CALM, anger breeds anger, situations, just go from worse to worse. You have an opportunity now to reverse negative behaviour and advance your intamcy. Read those pages on conflict resolution and PUT THEM INTO PRACTICE. Surprise your husband, disarm his negativity, by being pleasant!! Understanding his reasons without becoming a doormat, can actually allow him see you in a new light. Be true to yourself not angry focus on the positive side, and decide whether these little battles which add up to a lot are really worth destroying your relationship over.

I wonder if you could visualise your husband as someone you truly wanted to impress (not get at) the next time you talk, even if he seems hostile in his attitude towards you as long as it is not physical.. try to believe this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you want to help him (and you) be all that he can be, through positive reinforcement of his good qualities. Think about what they are. Surprise him with your love for him.

Thats all i can think of right now, i hope i helped you. Those MB pages are amazing check out conflict resolution, Love Busters, the whole sheebang.

Good Luck

Go to counseling. I know its expensive but we buy things everyday that are far less important to us than a good marriage and find some way to pay for that.
It's not easy, I've been married nearly 19 years and have more struggles now than ever before. Different couples have different times in their marriage that they struggle. Maybe you can get things in line early on with some counseling and have a wonderful marriage because of it.

The old saw that it takes two to argue fits so well here. Gotta deside if we are going to fight or discuss. The first cross word always ends a discussion. Make sure that you are not the one who uses that word!
Sounds like an insultingly simple answer, doesn't it? Cut and dried, not extra trimmings. Well, that is exactly where you have to go to. Don't waiste time tearing down a marriage that you want to save. Don't get even for anything. That pound of flest you take from each other leaves a pound less there for you to love in the end. Hell, give each other pounds of love and you will find that you will never hunger for love. When you bust each others chops you are busting that love and it becomes an easy adiction.
Read, re-read and imlement the basic concepts until they are your addiction, now it is imposible to hurt each other. I started to say good luck, but you don't need that. You have what you need if you cherish and protect it.