Hi to all . . . I hope this will assist me in getting closer to an answer.

I read so many of the articles on this website and my question today are as follows.

What is the role of the man ?
What is the role of the wife ?

I feel if roles are not clearly defined, it can cause lots of confustion, and conflict. Any articles on this topic ? Any ideas ?

Lets see what comes from this.

Cheers

Albert

Albert...how would you answer those two questions?

I feel if roles are "too" clearly defined, when things change (when people change, when feelings change, when the family structure changes, when tragic events redefine who you are), a couple can become stuck in increasingly dysfunctional roles.

I think it is more important to be able to "role" with the punches.

Smile

Answers to hard questions

hopefully these will help answer your questions
RBC covers just about any topic for family, devorce, pornography, abuse you name it they cover it..and do a good job helping keeping
things in perspective..
Hope you find this useful.

Keep on Keeping on..EarthAngel
come visit my forum and drop in to live chat.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> this is my chatroom and my website feel free to post..or use the chatroom. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
hope I got it right this time posted wrong url..
Lil Bit of Heaven on Earth!

<small>[ September 27, 2003, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: SadEyes ]</small>

Dear Albert,

I had written a reply and it was deleted, somehow. Basically what I said is that everyone comes to MB with ideas of roles for Men and Women. One of the good things Marriage Builders does is to try to improve working realtionships.

We get ideas of Men's Roles and Womens Roles from out parents, TV, movies and discussions with friends. The challenge is how to make the ideas work in your relationship. POJA is one way to bring the roles into a working format.

Braveheartnew: If you found something objectionable in my post, you can just let me know in a reply here. I am bound to make a mistake eventually. Otherwise if you deleted my post inadvertantly, consider yourself forgiven.

Quipper,
Married 28 years, still struggling

<small>[ September 28, 2003, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>

Quipper...Albert double posted in "Resolving Conflicts". That's where you originally responded to him (http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=001158).

I got confused, too...thought my post had been deleted from this thread.

Good night!
Smile

Dear Smile a Day,

Thanks for explaining my incorrect thoughts. And thanks for your thoughtful replies to others. I am one of your readers. Whenever I run across a reply of yours, I take more time to read for wisdom.

Best wishes,

Quipper
Married 28 years and still struggling

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by albert_bredenhann:
<strong>Hi to all . . . I hope this will assist me in getting closer to an answer.

I read so many of the articles on this website and my question today are as follows.

What is the role of the man ?
What is the role of the wife ?

I feel if roles are not clearly defined, it can cause lots of confustion, and conflict. Any articles on this topic ? Any ideas ?

Lets see what comes from this.

Cheers

Albert</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">When you ask "what is the role . . .", it sounds as if you think there is only one, and that the roles we play in marriage are based primarily on gender rather than on personal traits and abilities. I know I play a lot of roles in our marriage-interior designer, part time cook, social secretary, mother, host mother to our exchange students, organizer, shopper. H is the other part time cook, carpenter, plumber, electrician, and general repair person, travel agent, stepdad and host dad. There are a lot of other roles I don't recall offhand.

If you want to avoid confusion and conflict, the easy way is to opt for predefined roles along gender lines, but IMO that often just masks conflict, it doesn't resolve it. I think the MB principals found on this sight regarding radical honestly, the policy of joint agreement, protection, etc, are a better way to handle the conflict and confusion in the long run. If you haven't read about them, click on the "concepts" link above.

Thank you, Quipper. I just noticed your post to me. I really appreciate that. I'm finding that I may not have a strong grasp of everone's situations, but I am starting to get a good feel for the people who share thoughtful and productive perspectives. Your posts are almost always thought-provoking and well-written. Thanks.

Albert? Still around? This was a good topic to bring up. I hope you'll keep with it.

Smile