I was watching some movie to distract myself today...and it of course had an affair in it, and yeah, lately it seems like they all have affairs in them...but during the movie I came up with this "affair checklist" to amuse myself. Hope no one thinks it's making light, but what the heck...<P>THINGS NOT TO DO IF YOUR SPOUSE HAS AN AFFAIR<P>1. If you don't know her, don't ask her name. You'll hear it everywhere afterward, and constantly be reminded.<P>2. Don't find out what she looks like. If she's prettier than you, it will drive you bonkers. If she's uglier, you'll wonder what on God's earth he saw in her.<P>3. Don't ask how old she is. Younger, you'll feel old. If she's older, you'll drive yourself even crazier.<P>4. Don't ask what they did together. You can never know everything, and the lack of detail will be filled in by your overactive imagination. Best not to know anything, then you can pretend it never happened.<P>5. Don't ask for the truth, you will never get it.<P>6. Don't let them blame you for the affair, which they will try to do. Accept blame only up to the point where they STARTED the affair and none afterward.<P>7. Don't ever talk to the OP. They will only fill your head with lies.<P>8. Don't run the OP down to your husband or wife, they will only defend them and you'll be miserable.<P>I'm sure I could come up with more, but I'm still a little dazed from this weekend's "festivities".<P>Any other ideas?

Wow, Cristalle!<P>That's such a cynical list. Can't say I blame you, though. We all get a little more jaded from this kind of thing.<P>Don't know if I agree with "Don't ask for details." If your imagination is as bad as mine is, it's better to know what they did so that your imagination doesn't fill it ALL in.<P>How about this:<P>9. Don't let the hurtful things they say run down your self-confidence. You're as good as you've always been, even if (s)he can't see it.<P>10. If the OP is a friend, don't be concerned about losing them as a friend; the reality is, they aren't your friend.<P>Just a little extra. <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR>

Yeah, it is a little cynical isn't it? I had a really bad weekend (see my other post for the gory details).<P>I wanted details too, and it drove me nearly round the bend. I'm not sure I would, if there were a next time. Who knows?<P>Thanks for the additions, I liked them

For what it's worth, it was really hard for me to hear my wife describe to me the things she did with OM. I'm sure it was hard for her to tell me. I hate thinking that she shared these things with him that she also shared with me.<P>HOWEVER, the details were not NEARLY as bad as I imagined them to be. And, I found out that there are still a few things she's only done with me. I guess that's better than nothing.<P> <P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR>