I'm new at this, so please bear with me. I'm acually "top rope"'s wife. I'm the one who cheated on him. It's been almost one full year since he found out about my A. My A occurred at work, and to make matters worse, it was with my boss. It's actually even more complicated because my A lasted for almost two years. And at the end of it all, I didn't break it off, the OM did. And then I also found out that he was also having an A with another female in our office at the same time. The OM broke the A with me because his W found an incriminating e-mail from the other girl in the office that she had sent to him and she suspected he was cheating. Of course his W knew (and probably still doesn't know) anything about me. However at the same time my H suspected me as well. He had no idea that my A had been cut off only two days before we had our confrontation. After a long series of lies that I told my H, I did eventually come clean and tell him the truth about all of my A. And here we are almost a year later. He still doesn't trust me and I don't blame him at all for that. I've given him no reason to trust me. Since the A ended, I made sure that my former L lost his job, and I have relocated and taken a new job. I want to put my marriage back together, but my problem is that I still have trouble talking about my A. I know from reading that it is a very important part of my H's recovery to continue to talk about my A. But I often don't have the words to express myself and to give my H the details of my feelings and how I got into the A in the first place or let it continue for so long. I really do love my H. We have three beautiful children (all girls).
I need better advise on how to open up and talk to my H about my A. I have seen councillors and we even did a brief stint at marriage counselling. The marriage councillors option in our second session was to plan a separation. We never went back. If anyone has any advise on how to open up emotionally, I would be very grateful.

Ms Top Rope,
I couldn't give you advice on this matter, however, I would recomend that you try posting in another forum.
Although you do seem to be in a negotiating stage with your H, you could probably get better advice from an EN or Infidelity forum

I also recommend either the GenQuest or EN boards.

Thank you. My wife HAS posted her Question on another board. (General Questions II) She has also gotten her own "handle". (screwed up royally) Hopefully, some good can come out of it. However, it is posotive that she is taking a more active role and approach (by coming and posting here), instead of leaving all the "work" to ME!