Angel
Dont worry about "deserting" anyone here. Just worry about you and your children. Be very careful becasue when you leave this is the time the abuse can escalate to physical violence even if it never has been before.

Please read the book Why does he do that? before you go back. It will help you a great deal in making your decision.

Try to document things as much as possible and if neccessary get a restraining order. Hide if you have to.

Your boys are now teaching your boys that there is a penalty for being controlling and abusive to to their wives.I just spoke to my own MIL for the first time and told her about what is going on here. I knew my BIL is bad with his wife. And my H is too. Well my MIL said they learned it from their dad. She said he has been awful and seh wished she left 30 years ago but she did not have the courage! I think she is just so beaten down she feels stuck. But she is beside herself that her boys have turned out like the dad. And she knows its because their was no consequence for their dad's actions

I hope at some point your H will decide to change his life, but even if he doesnt you can change yours