Well, thank you to everyone who responded to my other thread. I greatly appreciate it.<P>The answer to a lot of questions could be summed up by saying I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I just don't know. It's almost like everything you thought, hoped for, counted on, or wanted is just wrong. I have known about her filing for divorce for a couple of months now. She met her attorney for the first time in June, filed at the beginning of July, and I found out on my birthday. I didn't tell her I knew.<P>I continued in Plan A, despite what I knew. The fact that she hadn't said anything continued to give me a little hope. Now I'm not sure if she was just waiting for my financial situation to get a little better before she filed so that she could get a little extra money for child support. I hope that's not the case.<P>I kept on doing Plan A because that's where my heart was at. Yes, I was mad when I first found out that she had filed. I even tried to call her, but she wasn't home. At that point, I had been planning for two weeks to go to her office and give her a birthday surprise (our birthdays are 2 days apart). So, the day after my birthday, I went anyway. I dressed up as a clown (yes, makeup and all) and took some balloons and a cake to her. When I left, I felt absolutely sick and empty because of what I knew. It was very hard, but it was from my heart.<P>Well, enough belly aching. Please, anyone who reads this - don't give up. If you are the one who is having the trouble reconciling with a previously difficult spouse, give them time to change. If you are the one who's spouse is messing around, don't quit trying. Please don't quit trying. Find out where your heart is, and seek healing for the pain, and don't give up. I don't know what else to say.<P>I don't know how much more I'll be around, but thank you very, very much to all those who have offered support and encouragement since I started coming here. I wish I would have found this site 2 or 3 years ago. I will definitely recommend this site to anyone experiencing marriage problems.<P>Thanks again . . . . .goodbye.<P>------------------<BR>Janella - "...I'll be the greatest fan of your life..."<BR>Jerry<P>

You have given us a lot of inspiration. <P>I know the Lord has great plans for you, take heart.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

grprof, <P>Hold your head high. You have nothing to be ashmamed of. You fought the good fight and did your best. <P>I'm sorry your W was not willing to reconcile. <P>Be strong my friend, as FHL said, I know God has great plans in store for you.<P>SHA

Remember that just because an action does not succeed, it is not a total failure. Every time we exercise our best judgement, and choose the best path we grow. How that action is handled by someone else is very seldom something we can feel is our failure. Humans interact and react as they will, we can be honest and work towards an honorable goal, but we can't force the same from another. I have learned recently what even honest people say is seldom the whole truth, because they don't see the whole truth, just the part they want to see, or the part that someone else wishes to share. So, my humble advice is fight the good fight, and sleep well without doing too much self damning for the end result. God Bless you. EICK.

grprof,<P>My heart aches for you. I am sorry you wife is losing such a good guy. I don't know many men who would dress like a clown and go out in public for their sweetie. You must be a very special guy.<P>Don't lose that big heart, and keep faith in God.<P>Take Care!<P>------------------<BR>Luv, Liza<P>Never fear, because God walks right beside you, and if you get tired, he will lift you up and carry you.

Goodbye, Jerry. <P>I'm sorry things haven't changed. Maybe when you work on you, and start to move on, things will finally change. <P>God Bless. And remember Romans 8:28. Look for the good that comes of this, because it certainly will.