My husband is making me insane. I've been newly married for 2 years. I moved out of state to be with him and for him to be where his son is.
I can never do anything right. I lost my father in September and have absolutely no support from him for anything let alone this. I am just a mess and tired of it.

Shannon,

Have you discussed your feelings with him?

Do he support your feelings or brush them off as "nonsense"?

He totally blows me off. Tonight I finally broke down and sobbed and told him I blame myself for everything. I told him dealing with my father dying is so hard on me that it just tears me up. I told him I was sorry that our marriage was falling apart. See, he blamed me because I left the state that we live in and went home when my father was sick. He didnt blame me for going he blamed me for staying. My father passed 4 days after I got home. I stayed with my mother for another 3 weeks after and helped her with paperwork and just being there for her. Anyway, my job told me no problem your job will be here when you get back and low and behold when I came home, No job!So, he blames me for staying too long and no job. So, financially its my fault.
I just cant win. So, I tried tonight to talk rationally without the hysterics. Obviously, it didnt do me any good. He never even replied. He just sat on the chair and watched TV. Finally, when he came into bed. I told him that I was so dissappointed in him. He said its 1:00 in the morning and I am tired. So, here I am, up out of bed, trying to soul search. Anyway, I better go for now. Heck, I could go on forever because Its just never ending here. I feel so lost. Maybe, I'm wrong but I feel in a marriage that you should be there emotionally for each other.

Mom69,

My wife and I are having the same problem. As a matter of fact, her dad died last november 26, the day before thanksgiving. I was not there for her but wanted to be. When he died, and we were close, me and our son were both sick from one of the relatives that came to their house. After the death, I didn't understand what she was going through emotionally, even went to learn about grieving after several fights we had about me not understanding.

Any way, this month has been a hard one and again I haven't been there like I should be however now OM has taken my place and it hurts. I want to be there but I guess maybe I have done to much damage. My point is, yes he needs to be there emotionally for you and should take the time to investigate what you are going through.

It grief is such an overwhelming thing. My father's birthday is Nov 27th which falls on Thanksgiving day alot. The holidays will be horrible. At least it sounds like you care enough to think about it. I honestly dont think it crosses my husbands mind much. He just thinks I'm being a !@#! He doesnt understand. I stayed at my fathers bedside for 4 days. I never left except to use the restroom or get something to drink. I was there when he took his last breath and I kept myself in check for my mom but when I came home I broke. I guess I expected him to be understanding. See, it was a horrible shock when I went home and realized my dad was dying. I was in total denial. I never dreamt at 61 he would be gone. My husband doesnt understand that that is what I replay in mind over and over and over.
Believe me, I am a sensible woman but death can make you pretty over the top. Right now, I dont even know that our marriage could be saved and that breaks my heart because I truly believed in him. Anyway, thanks so much for the reply. Hang in there yourself. Let her know how much she is loved. It makes a difference.