Hi, I didn't mean to scare you with that article. What it showed me is that I now know that it wasn't anything I said or did. It really isn't all his fault either, I know that he feels out of control and at least the article gave me some answers. I myself don't know how long I can hold on to this. I'm only 34 and I don't plan on spending some of the best years of my life waiting around for him to make up his mind about what he wants in his life. H was here tonight and we had a long talk. He still wants to come home but can't seem to be able to leave her yet. I told him that until he totaly breaks from her and they are through he can't come back home to me. I asked him what that would show the kids if I let him go back and forth from me to her. I told him that I am very angry at the situation and that I'm not to sure about my feelings right now. I think my saying that scared him just a little. I kind of missed him again after he left but I need to just keep myself focused on my life right now.<P>I'll be here off and on all night if you need to talk. Hope you get through the hurricane ok, I'm worried about you! Keep us informed.<P>Jill

Hey - I'm here. Good for you. I wasn't too scared - read it at a bad time, I guess. Maybe I was scared. I HATE things I can't control any aspect of and this is a doosey!!<P>I think you're right. You'll know what's best for you. Maybe this strength and determination to go on w/ your life is just what he needs! If not, I'm pretty sure it's just what YOU need. I know you'll be fine. Glad you guys are talking, though. That's what I miss.<P>R's given up his business, school, fishing everything. Mom says he bites his nails until his fingers bleed and looks terrible. Sweetie won't let him out of her site (she drives him to work and picks him up and even goes to mom's when he does his laundry) and won't let him talk w/ any of his family in private, he has NO money whatsoever - not even to buy our neice a birthday present. He's cut down on visits to his family. She's even more worried than before. My strong confused husband is disoriented, weak and pitiful.<P>OK, Lori's plan A. He won't call - wonder why???. According to family, he misses us. So I have developed Lori's Plan A - Long distance version. (Got to do something - even if it's wrong - my dad's favorite saying!) So, I'm not gonna call him, but I am writing him, maybe once a week or so at his mom's. Pop'll get the letter to him after work anytime. Just finished the first one to mail tomorrow. Just chatter about me and Kristin, what we're up to. A couple of private jokes. One vague reference to something that happened when we first fell in love. Encouragement for his continuing education. Pats on the back. Hunting season coming, how's the fishin? No pressure, no lovey dovey stuff, safe and comfortable, but gentle reminders of what he was and is and support. OK, so I did throw in a "Tony is so sweet to take me to dinner, please thank him for me" for jealousy's sake. Wanna hear weird? They call him Harry. The little girl and Sweetie and she knows his name and Harry ain't it. Why the H would they call him Harry? Mom catches sweetie doing it when she doesn't think anyone's around. What do you think of that? And what about my plan A? I know it probably won't work, but it can't hurt, can it? <P>Looks like Dennis is gonna move out a bit for a time so I shouldn't have too much bad weather. They're not sure what he'll do in a few days though. <BR> I'll be on a little while. Whadya think?<P>Lori

I always have felt that writing a letter sometimes is the best way to go. You can tell someone how you feel honestly better on paper than face to face. It is also something that they can keep with them and reread if they need to. I'm glad your inlaws are really supportive. That's half the battle right there. I bet it won't be long and sweetie pie is out the door. I think she knows it to that's why she is being so clingy.<P>Just talked to my SIL. We have always been good friends and she is so supportive. I told her i didn't want her to feel like she is in the middle of this and that I hoped she would try to support H best she could. She is going to try to get him to go to the Dr. to get some anti-depressents. Maybe he will listen to her. Even though I'm really irritated with him right now i do still love him and am worried about his depression.<P>Glad Dennis decided not to visit this time around. I'm sure hurricanes are no fun.<BR>I better get to bed start working day shift tomorrow.<P>Talk to ya tomorrow!<P><BR>Jill

Lori-<BR>Sorry for butting in. I just wanted to tell you that I'm not ignoring you. I'm just really, really down tonight. <BR>You can e-mail me til the cows come home. Don't ever think you can't.<BR>I need to get my head straight right now. Don't have good advice for anyone.<P>We'll talk tomorrow, ok?<BR>Love ya,<BR>Cheryl