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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 713
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 713
My husband is VP at a large company and had an affair that ended about 2 months ago with one of his employees. He told his company and resigned when I discovered it all about 3 weeks after he had ended it with her. They did not accept his resignation and gave him a leave of absence to think things through. After 2 weeks he returned. They moved his office to another building, but she still has to report to him. They legally cannot move her and there is nowhere else in the company for my husband to go.

This is the only job he has ever had and literally worked his way up from the bottom. That is one reason I believe they would not let him resign. I still can't believe he risked all that for a year long affair with a little tramp.

None the less, he's been back to work about 6 weeks now from his leave of absence and slowly but surely the OW is getting "friendly" in some business transactions. "Happy Holiday" comments in e-mail and "How was your new year" comments on the phone.

My husband has told me about all of their interactions. I told him I'm not comfortable with it and to see if he can take any action with HR if she isn't totally professional. HR told him that there is nothing they can do if her comments are of a non sexual nature...which they have been so far.

She reports to a manager between the 2, but some meetings and e-mails are necessary...I understand that. Here is my dilemma. I'm not happy with her having access to him whenever she feels like it. Part of me wants him to leave the job...I can't stand the thought of them talking. But the other part of me wants him to stay. He is great at what he does, loves his job, makes GREAT money which has kept me home for 4 years with the kids and his job has lots of perks. I feel like I've lost enough. Why should I have to give up the "good life" now. That is the least I should be able to keep.

He assures me that his contact with her is strictly professional now. He has shown me the e-mails that he has sent her. They do not socialize at all. He says he ended it because he saw her for what she really is...a tramp. He says if I walk away, he would NEVER go back to her. He said he has no feelings for her anymore and that is why he ended it...much to her dislike.

What should I do about them working together? He says he will quit if he has to, but I hate to lose the benefits of his great job. Do I just have to suck it up, or am I naive to allow them to continue to work together?

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 67
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 67
you'll get way more advice on general questions/infidelity.
Just post this over there.


The ones who can't stand Dr. Phil are the ones who are up to no good... ("oh, he doesn't know what he's talking about...blah, blah, blah")

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