Hi, I am a young 28 year old mother of 3. I have had 3 children in the past 4 years, and it has taken a bit of a toll on my body, but i am working at it. Being pregnant sex was an up and down thing with me and now i am feeling more like myself. however my husband never makes advances toward me. It is making me feel quite undesireable. I used to be the gorgeous girl everyone turned their heads to look at thats how i got my hubby, and now he doesnt look twice at me, nor does he try to get close to me. i get the peck goodbye or hello or goodnight thats about it. I have expressed my desire for him to be more like he used to be well before i popped out 3 kids for him, but nothing changes. I feel as if i am slowly slipping into a deep depression day by day. What do i do? My kids need a happy mommy and this is really affecting me.

Have you reviewed teh "Basic Concepts" link up at the top? And the Q&A section?

There is lots of good material there that can help you with it. There's also some questionnaires.

Are you getting in the recommended 15 hours or so of recreation time? (And that can be real tough with 3 kids).

How are the stress levels in general? Lots of stress can wreak havoc with the sex drive.

And of course, some men look to other ways to meet their SF's during pregnancy.

Look through the material on the site, there's tons of it. That may shed some light or at least point you in the way of more specific questions to ask.

Thanks for the tip, i have read that just now and yes I have looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself the things i could do on a regular basis to show my hubby how much i love him, ie. making him his favorite foods and taking it to work for him, or offering to rub his tired muscles, etc but no luck. We have discussed how we both can do better things for each other and I act on our discussions however he may do one nice thing then its back to the drawing board it seems. Each pregnancy was very hard and well you know the drill with hormones, but we talked and I thought we had gotten over the changes couples go through at that time. We started going out, just us, more recently since Oct. And had been trying to have some more "alone" time. I encourage him to go out with his friends, and reiterrated that he just needs to call me and let me know. I get very cold when i am hurt, I am sure I come off as out of love, but I do try to talk about what hurts me. Believe me I am not a one sided wife who thinks all his time is for me and the kids. He honestly does alot of nothing, yes he works, hahahaha, , but thats about it. HELP

have you considered the possibility that he may be having er...um...an affair? Hypothetically, of course. Do a little snooping, and keep what you find to yourself, until you KNOW for SURE he is.

...or isn't.