Hi everyone,<BR>I'm feeling very down right now. H and I had two conversations today. Both not good. I sent him a letter for Plan B, saying that I love him and I want to work on our marriage, but that we shouldn't have any more conversations until he is sure what he wants, that he gives up the OW (or 2?). Either way, I am moving forward in my life.<BR>I guess that I am finally realizing the the major problem with my H anger toward me, is not me, but all the bad baggage he has been carrying around for so many years. I am very reactionary right now, because he has caused me great pain, but in my heart, I really do feel love for him.<BR>I also believe that his spritual side he totally lacking. The Devil has his claws in my H so tight, that the only way to save our marriage, and his soul, the the Good Lord. I pray every night that God find a way to get his attention. This is my H's 3rd marriage, and he doesn't seem to be learning anything. I just need some extra prayers for you guys. I really do love my h, and I know that it is my job, through the grace of God, to show him that. I will keep working on it, I just hope that it is not to late. I worry that this tortue my h is feeling, may end up taking his life.<BR>Thank you all for your support. I am so glad I found this forum.<BR>In God's love,<BR>Cheryl

I'm here, Cheryl and praying for you every time I pray for me. I know you love him and I know how much it hurts - even when we yell at him. Sorry about the long e-mails tonight. You've got enough on you. Keep on being strong, my friend. And take some hugs from me. I'm thinking about you.<P>Lori

ceecee- <BR>sending all kinds of positive energy and support your way. You are a very strong, courageous and insightful woman. What you are going through is very difficult. I am in Plan B with my H. Just started last Tuesday. And I too, worry that he is on a path of self destruction. All I can do is reaffirm (as I did in the letter) of my willingness to work on us. But I can't save him from himself (which I see I had been trying to do). My H came with lots of baggage as well. <P>So be well and take care and know there are people out here (like myself) who care about you.

ceecee<BR>One of the hardest things we have to do for the ones we love sometimes is to get out of God's way and let Him do His work in the way He sees best. This often means watching someone we love face terrible hardship and trial.....not brought on by God but allowed by Him to get their attention. A good old southern saying is "He was so low he had to look UP to see dirt". I believe this must happen to some people before they get the message and that is hard to watch. And unfortunately some people never get the message.....part of the free will God gave us all.<P>But you have the assurance that if you trust God with your own life and happiness, He will guide you through the valley. You may not have your husband beside you when you reach the other side, but you will find peace and contentment through trusting God. No matter what the outcome of your marriage is, you can find healing.....it will take time, but it will come. Your husband's actions are his own decision....you can't coerce or force him into doing what is best for himself or your marriage and you are certainly not responsible for his poor choices now. You can only control your own actions and allow God to lead you.<P>If you see signs of imminent physical danger (suicidal actions), I do believe you should step in to offer him help, but otherwise I believe you are wise to allow God to do His work in His way and time.<P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31<P><BR>

CeeCee - <P>I'm right here with you and feel the same about the Devil.<P>Although my H is different in that he created all this garbage just for me!!!<P>I'm so lucky!!!!!!<P>you have been and will continue to be in my prayers.<P>Hang in there.<P>BIG HUG,<P>Sheba

I received a card from a friend a few days ago and this is what it said.<P>Nobody ever said you had to be strong every minute of the day....<BR>especially when stresses and strains start weighing on you to the point where you wonder how you can possibly bear it all. Your not suppose to-<BR>that's when God comes in. <BR>I look at you and I see a much loved child of God, and I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He's watching over you,<BR>waiting for you to let go some of your load and lean on him...<P>I guess that card really hit home to me. I feel that I have no other choice right now than to trust that God will help me make the right choices.<P>Just know that you are not alone and that there are alot of people who do care.<P>Jill

You guys are the best. I'm sitting here reading your replies, balling like a baby. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It seems like it is getting harder, not easier.<BR>Thank you for your words. I know that God is watching over me and my daughter. I also know that God is watching over my H, whether he knows it or not. My faith in the Lord is growing stronger each day, and maybe this horror in my life, was His way of getting me attention.<P>Love, <BR>Cheryl <BR>