I having been with my husband that I found out recently that he was diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. All this time since we have been married for 5 years, it was just driving me crazy that he would never pay attention to anything I ever said or really what anyone ever said. We would go to parties and people would talk to him and he would ask them the same question that they just answered 2 minutes before. It was/is very embarrassing and VERY frustrating. If anyone has a spouse who does have this, I would love to hear from you and how you deal with this disorder and if they are on any medication. The psychiatrist prescribed Remeron (45mg).He hasn't started it yet because he just found out about the diagnoses and has to get his prescription filled. Does anyone know about this medication and what it does? Would he have to be on this medication or (any) for the rest of his life?? I would appreciate anyone out there who can relate to this story to tell me theirs. Thanks

well, tangentially related...<BR>my mom always had a hard time focusing (not as bad as your H, sounds like), and got on ritalin, and has been VERY HAPPY with the results. She can actually get a lot more work done and is really focused now.<BR>I think remeron is quite similar, so he should see results fairly quickly.<P>My H got drugs to treat his hypomania (almost manic, from bipolar disorder), i always teased him about having ADHD, and thank god, it is much less embarrassing to be out with him now.<BR>good luck!

Thank you for your response, love was blind. My husband was prescribed Remeron and I'm glad to hear that the results are quick and good. I have hope for my husband. He is very down on himself now and thinks that he is a reject of a human being because he has ADD and depression. I look forward to having my husband back. Thanks again for your reply. Katya

Oh dear .... I do believe I have this disorder too. I can't focus, etc.<P>Sheesh, I'm already on Celexa (anti-dep). Should I venture into another drug for the AAD????<P>

I suffer from ADD. I chose not to take any medicine for it. I am trying to teach myself to pay attention and remember. If you think it is frustrating, you should be in your H's shoes. It really takes a toll on your self-esteem. Just be patient with him. <P>------------------<BR>You are in my thoughts and prayers.<BR>* Viki

My H has a mild case of ADD. He was on an anti-depressant (Paxil) for a while and it seemed to help. Sometimes, I wonder if his immaturity is masking itself as ADD, or more likely, he has a combination of both. His parents have controlled him his entire life. Well, now he's finally having to take responsibility for his actions, and I can safely say that he's grown a lot because of it. Mommy and daddy can't throw this one under the rug. Thank God. No better time to grow up then when faced with losing your family. I still think his mind wanders too much though. Maybe he should go back on the meds, I think it really did him some good. And if it can help him stay focused on the fact that he has a family, all the better. I don't want to go through this again.<P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller<BR>

I think around here a lot of our spouses seem to be suffering from MDD -- Monogamy Deficit Disorder! If anyone knows a good drug that can relieve the symptoms of MDD, I'd sure like to hear about it!<P>--Wex

Katya,<P>My husband was diagnosed with ADD several years ago. What helped me most understand him was a book titled "Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults" by Weiss. A good friend whose husband also has ADD recommends "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?" by Hallowell and Ratey. There is also a book out there titled "Ritalin Is Not the Answer: A Drug-Free, Practical Program for Children Diagnosed with ADD or ADHD" by Stein (something to keep in mind since I've heard that ADD can be hereditary). And it is my understanding that no matter what drug they use (my husband takes Ritalin), it is a life-long thing. <P>It's not easy, and the drugs are definitely not a cure-all, but they have helped my husband concentrate.<P>Good luck!<P>HL<p>[This message has been edited by HL (edited August 31, 1999).]

Dear Maya;<BR>Thank you for your response. I was surprised at the amount of all the responses I received and very greatful for them. You stated that you are on a anti-depressant. Should you venture into a drug for ADD? Yes, because ADD and depression are two different symptoms and thus, two different drugs needed to each symptom. Let me know what you take if you go to the doctors. My H is taking Remeron (45mg) for his ADD and Wellbutrin for his depression. Thanks, katya

Dear pondvj:<BR>Thank you for responding. My bonnet goes out to you if you can do it by not taking medication. But, wow, isn't that difficult? How long have you been off of the medication and how has it been? I try to be patient with my H but it really sometimes gets to me. It's so very frustrating to me when he doesn't remember anything. Maybe now, since he's on medication for it, things will get better. Good luck with you. Please let me know how you are doing. Your friend, katya

Dear Distrusting and Wexwill:<BR>Thank you both for responding. Good luck with your husband, Distrusting, only he can decide if he should go back. Sometimes partners are much more able to see when their partners need medication than the partners themselves. <BR> Wexwill, I found your response to be very amusing and made me laugh. I have read sooooooo many stories about infidelity that you said it - we need a drug for Monogamy Decifit Disorder! I think marriages would benefit so greatly from this wonder drug, but, than I guess there would be no bulletin board. Thanks again.... What a beautiful saying by Helen Keller (Distrusting). Thanks.<BR>Your friend, Katya

Dear HL:<BR>Thank you so much for taking the time out to respond to my message. Your information was very helpful and I will go get the book. I told my husband about it and he said that he was definetly interested in reading it but said that after a few chapters (ADD) he will lose interest. I will read it regardless. They sound like good books. I was wondering if they have any good books out there. yes, I heard that ADD is hereditary, but , fortunetly we have 2 girls and I read that it is more prevelent in boys than girls. My little girls don't seem to have it. They are so intuitive and so amazingly alert and don't miss a thing. Thanks again and good luck with you. Your friend, katya <BR>