<p>Question: I'm 40 years of age and contemplating marriage with a woman I've been seeing for six years. Sex is great between us however I'm not sure if what I feel is love. <p>My job brings me in contact with other women and I fantasize yet I realize my lady friend would leave me if she ever caught me cheating. However I feel I would if I could get away with it. <p>My lady friend will not wait any longer and either we marry or she leaves. So we are setting a date. Friends have told me that if you are having doubts about your marriage you shouldn't go through, but I'm not sure if such confusion is normal. <p>I care for my girlfriend a great deal and we have been through a lot<br>together, but I am not sure how to read my feelings. I've often thought it's a 50-50 proposition and I have constructed a pre-marriage agreement so I'll give it a try. <p>But at the same time I'm thinking I could do "better." Yet don't really know what better is except perhaps "younger" (my lady friend is 33). <p>I can't decide if what I feel is love. Or if I'm extremely emotionally co-dependent on this woman after the years we've been together. <p>At a loss with what I feel. Any advice would be very much appreciated.<br>

Now is the time to talk to your girlfriend about any reservations that you may be having. If she has a problem with waiting until you both feel that it is "right" it will probably be better in the long run if she leaves. <p>It would be a big mistake to go through all of the preparations of the wedding, not to mention the time and money spent only to have it all fall apart months ofter the wedding. I've seen it happen and it hurts more AFTER you've made that committment. <p>If she really loves you and you love her a time will come when it feels right to both of you.<p>Maybe pre-marital counselling would help you sort out your feelings and reservations.<br>Good Luck<br>Dave