If you and your boyfriend sleep over and spend time together everyday, is that the same as living together? curious.

Jen,<P>I just saw your post since, basically, I'm new to these forums.<P>My fiance moved in with me last year. Things happened and he moved out 6 weeks later. He said we were through, but he kept calling and we vowed to make it work. He had moved into his mom's after leaving my house and within a few months, he was spending every night at my house. The only difference was that his dresser and furniture were at his mom's (he'd drop by her house periodically to refill his gym bag with clothes) and he wasn't paying half the bills. Supposedly he was paying his mom $200.00 a month and didn't have much left over after paying for debts from past marriage/business.<P>We both have kids from previous marriages. His reason to his kids for moving out was that it was wrong spiritually to live together although we had gotten to a point where he would also stay on the week-ends when he had his kids.<P>I was always confused at that but never brought it up to him, probably for selfish reasons.<P>He is back at his mom's now since I found out he's been deceitful and sneaky. I'm not sure if our marriage day will ever come, but we are taking this time for ourselves to understand what we want.<P>If you live together out of wedlock, it's too easy to move out and on and it can really leave some emotional scars. If you're ready to live together, be prepared to marry.<P>If you're asking from a Biblical perspective, I don't think it's so much the spending time at each others houses, it's whether or not you are intimate, which is meant for marriage only.<P>I know I'm just rambling here. Sorry for not really answering your question.<P>------------------<BR>Carpe Diem<BR>~~ Lady K ~~<P>

Dear Jen1:<BR>The answer is no. Why? Because there is a big difference. For one, he just comes and sleeps over and can go home. Basically, he can come and go as he pleases. There is no real committment, even though you may be spending time together. On the other hand, if you both are living together, then the place that you share is a place you both live and share things like time, space, bills, arguments, every morning, every night, learn about the little things about each other that you wuld not have learned if you and he did not live together. Yet, still, just living together is not a committmet. Don't be fooled. Just because two people live together without being married, does not mean there is a true committment. Either of the two of you can just pack your stuff and walk away. In a marriage, which is committed, you share the responsibility of having the same last name on everything you buy and pay...mortgage, bills, credit cards. Thus, leaving is not so easy like it is when you don't have that piece of paper. Somehow when two people commit/marry, there is a set bond which forms and makes it harder to just walk out the door. So, to answer your question, it is not the same to spend time sleeping over as it is if you both were living together. I don't know how old you are, but, I would not suggest that you live together. Enjoy your life in your own place...alone. The thing is, if you live together, and eventually you want to get married to him, chances are, it will be awhile before that happens or never because why should he marry you when he already lives with you. Living together is just a convince and a make believe of playing house and marriage. If you both really love each other, wait and then marry. Hope things turn out for you and I hope I answered your question.

any feedback?