i was hoping that u could help me w/ my problem ... im not yet married but i live w/ my fiance . things have been so great .. up until he moved in ... hes distant now .. when we lived apart we were always cuddling or what not . needless to say i got used to that . now it really bothers me that he doesnt want to cuddle w/ me at all really ... not even after sex . he says I love you but other than that he hardley shows me how much he loves me .. he tells me that even though he doesnt want to cuddle that he loves me just as much . i also communicate very well through letters and when i do he responds not w/ a letter back but w/ a simple verbal response . so i never feel completely relieved of things that bother me . I just dont understand how he is so relaxed in the relationship and were not even married yet .

You may want to go through all the information on this web site. Especially the info about emotional needs. You and your fiance have emotional needs that need to be met in order for you to feel loved. Your spouse (partner) is the one who needs to meet these needs. It sounds like you have the emotional need of affection.<P>What often happens in relationships gone bad is that emotional needs go unmet then resentment builds. At that point there is either a blow-up or an affair of some sort either physical or emotional. If your fiance won't work with you on building a strong relationship now, it won't get better after you are married. Print the emotional needs questionaire from this site and then have you and your finace fill it out. Then discuss it together. Work together on a plan that will met his and your needs. If he won't do this, run while there is still time.

I agree with Mudder. This site is definitly worth taking the time to look through. I too live with my fiancee and found this site very thought provoking and very helpful-especially where it talks about how relationships can turn awry. If at all possible schedule a "date" with your fiancee to talk about it. I find that works really well for me. He doesn't feel that I am attacking him and he realizes that I am serious about what I want to talk about. When we talk I try (not always easy) to tell him how I feel (ie. I feel like since you moved in that you have been withdrawn. I miss the fact that we used to be more affectionate before you moved in etc) rather then starting every sentence with YOU aren't this or You don't that....it works for me. My fiancee isn't always as affectionate as I would like him to be at times-especially when he is stressed--when he does hug me, etc I always try to tell him that I love it when he hugs me, rubs my neck etc.<BR>If he is unwilling to talk about it or even acknowledge that there is something amiss, then I would suggest that you seriously rethink things. It may be better to get out of the relationship if you will be miserable. Getting married DOES NOT change a person-they have to change themselves. Good luck to you both and I wish you the best! Keep in touch!