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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2
S
Junior Member
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2
My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. We know we will get married but it's not official (no proposal). We understand that marriage is a life long committment. I will do what ever it takes to have a happy successful marriage. I came from a divorced family, and don't ever wish to go through anything like that again. Divorce changes your life forever.<P>He works at a hotel, and has an apartment there. He is in the process of finding a new job, which means moving. I am having financial problems and could use some help.<BR>Considering our circumstances should we live together?

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 245
S
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 245
Been there, done that, and I vote NO!!!!<P>Marriage is way too special to spoil it by living together first. Please try to find another way to overcome your difficulties.

Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 311
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Posts: 311
seshe,<P>I vote with Smidgen. Don't! Here is a link to Dr. Haley's article on this topic.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5510_qa.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5510_qa.html</A> <P>Mud <><<p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited August 21, 2000).]

Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2
S
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2
Thanks for your comments. I am starting to feel that we shouldn't live together first. I just need to make my financial situation better. Thanks Again.

Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 22
T
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Posts: 22
Dear Seshe:<BR>DO NOT, under any circumstances live together before marriage!!! I did, with my college sweetheart. We dated for about 3 years (from sophmore yr. to graduation) and the very day we graduated, we moved into together and it was the biggest mistake I ever made. We ended up breaking up, partly because I couldn't stand living with them, and partly because I met someone else. I am still with that guy now, and we have decided NOT to live together until marriage. I understand about moving and/or money difficulties, but he will have much more respect for you and the relationship if you don't live together. That was part of the problem I had with my ex, he had lost all motivation to marry me and I think that he lost respect for me, too. When our relationship was ending, he was ready and willing to do anything to keep it together, but I was already emotional gone at that point. Also, I highly recommend a book called The Rules. Although it does come across as a little manipulative, it makes some good points. One of them is to let the man pursue you, and to come after you. If you move in together, then he loses all motivation to marry you. Remember, men always want what they can't have, and they enjoy the pursuit. Don't play games, but don't make it so easy that he never has to work for it. Good luck in his job search.<P><BR>QUOTE]Originally posted by seshe:<BR><B>My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. We know we will get married but it's not official (no proposal). We understand that marriage is a life long committment. I will do what ever it takes to have a happy successful marriage. I came from a divorced family, and don't ever wish to go through anything like that again. Divorce changes your life forever.<P>He works at a hotel, and has an apartment there. He is in the process of finding a new job, which means moving. I am having financial problems and could use some help.<BR>Considering our circumstances should we live together?</B>[/QUOTE]<P>


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