I have been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I have a child from a previous marriage and now I have another child with this man. Our relationship together started out great, but deteriorated after his time on a cruise with the Navy. He has been working nights for a year and a half, which I have expressed how much I dislike it because we see so little of each other. He was switched to days (I loved it!!!). But, when he was offered a position back on nights we discussed it; I, again, expressed how much I disliked it, but he did it anyway because he doesn't like getting up early in the am. What don't I like about it? He comes home at about 12:00 am. He stays up until 6:00 or 7:00 am and sleeps until 2:30, when he has to get ready for work; he's gone by 3:00 pm. Weekends he keeps the same schedule. He has told me that there is nothing important to get up for. My arguement is that there are KIDS to get up for and there's me, that I don't get a choice, why should he? He is currently out on a ship, and I have received no letters from him. Prior to leaving he told me that it is the best thing for us that he is going to be away for 6 months. I'm at my wit's end. It's bad enough that I have to be without him for a period of time while he serves his country. Why should I have to continue to do this at home?

Hi 2muchtimealone,<P>You should probably date others, or just be single. <P>You make yourself look silly seeming more committed to this "relationship" than he is. Can you support yourself? Call the base and get child support started up if you need it when he gets back, if not before.<P>When he is ready for a relationship he will act like it. So move out or separate. Wait for a real romantic proposal of marriage from him and try to do it right this time. He doesn't respect you much right now. That is why he isn't there for you... You are the one who is always <I>"supposed"</I> to be there for him!!!! And you are, so why should he bother? All too common among Navy personel, their women are not taken seriously or as equals.<P>I live and work in a Navy community and see a lot of personel lose their families. This is a very difficult lifestyle for even the most mature relationships.<P>Good luck with your decisions and plans!<P>Karenna<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

It sounds like you have done your part. You have expressed a desire for him to work days, but he doesn't want to.<BR>He has not contacted you while he's on the ship.<BR>It sounds like he has no respect for you as a person, much less a woman, and the mother of his child.<BR>Sounds like when things are going his way, it's okay.<BR>I would suggest to leave him. You have told him how you feel, but that doesn't matter. Telling you that 6 months away from each other is a good thing, sounds like he doesn't want to be with you. When he first comes back, I'm sure things will seem great at first, but how long before it goes bad again? Is that what you want in a long term relationship?<BR>Sounds like you are more committed than he is to the relationship.<BR>He's a loser IMHO.<p>[This message has been edited by Serena1958 (edited October 31, 2000).]