Hello everyone, I'm hoping someone will be able to iron out some issues I've been facing recently. <P>My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year, dating for about 18 months with the intention of eventual marriage. We've been fine for the most part. His complaints are are mainly about power struggle and how I don't let him be himself and how he's become conditioned to doing things my way. This argument has come up 3-4 times in our relationship and then we make up and we both try (I can't speak for him, but I think I do) to be cognizant of what I'm doing that bothers him so much and try not to do it. Honestly, I don't know that I'm doing whatever it is most of the time. It could just be a personality conflict. <BR>Now he's saying that he doesn't think it's going to work out because it's always the same thing of us trying to work it out and then we go back to our old habits. He says that he's lost passion for everything he used to love and is relating that to me. But he also told me the same thing when we first started dating which leads me to believe that this is an internal thing for him and not directly related to our relationship. He says he thinks it's boils down to the fact that we are just not compatible.<P>I'm so confused. On the one hand it would be so easy to just give it up and use that phrase I dislike so much... "whatever..." and move on. <P>On the other hand, why would I want to throw away something that could be so fabulous? I really think our fundamentals are matched. We have the same beliefs, morals, etc. I think that's so difficult to find. I not only love him, but I genuinely like him as a person. I have a lot of respect for the guy. I can't say what he thinks about me, especially right now because the way he's acting is almost like he's given up. I told him that if we wanted it to work, he has to want it to work and he responded that he would have ended it a long time ago if he didn't want it to work. <P>Anyway, I'm sure this is more information than you ever wanted to know. Does anyone have any advice? I would appreciate all comments. <P>Thank you so much for your time!

Here's my thought. .. <BR>My other half and I went through a similar thing for a while--everything would be good for a while, then it would "blow up" and I'd think we were doomed. Then we'd work it out, and everything would be good until *** and so on and so forth. <BR>Well, two years later, we're still together. We've gotten past that. If you are BOTH committed to a long-term relationship, rather than searching for passion, things will eventually calm down to a manageable state. That's the key--HE has to commit HIMSELF to this. You can't drag him in and hold him there without his own buy-in.<BR>My other half used to go through this disstisfaction on a cyclical basis--I called it his pms. Have you noticed that as well? If so, pay attention to those things that signal he's "on the rag," and be gentle with him then. He'll appreciate it, and it will show in his attitue towards you.<BR>**Just my handle on it anyway!

i know what you are going through- i was practically living with my boyfriend and it was an emotional roller coaster. the only reason it worked for us was because i moved back home until we were ready to get married. i found that with most of my friends who moved in with their significant other never worked out and they usually broke up. you see, there seems to be that thread missing that you find only in married couples and when there is a problem either of you will be quick to get out of the situation. trust me when i say that your relationship will be more special if you dont live together. if everything goes well then you have time to experience the beauty of living together after you are married. all the best and good luck,<BR> shaina