Yesterday when I arrived at our church service the pastor asked me why my lawyer had been trying to get a hold of him. I told him about the ccustody issues and that I ws trying to get my divorce worked out. Then he wanted to know hwo was the man that I came to church with...<I>now I have an appointment at the church office to go over the advantages to a Godly marriage, living together without sleeping together.</I> I kind-of think that this could be a hot idea. We have a 3 beroom home and our relationship is sagging a little after 2 years, seperate bedroomss might be the answer and would bring us closer and right with God. What are your opinions? Has anyone tried cutting sex off like this and waiting because it was the right thing to do? We would have to agree to be committed to this idea.

Would need more info on your relationship..<p>How long have you been seperated?
Why did your marriage end?
Who is the man your living w/?? your spouse
or a b/f??

In reply to your questions:
My marriage ended 5 years ago, due to drugs and alcohol, I had been living in and participating in a daily life of useing and fing drugs and I wanted to stop, he didn't. I actually moved into seperate bedrooms at this time and started useing less (speed,weed & alcohol)started getting more involved with my children and less involved with my husband. 3 & 1/2 years ago I went into rehab and quit completely, on the way home from the rehab center my husband needed to stop and pick up some weed. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. So I left then, I had nothing, he wouldn't let me have anything he wanted me to stay. I have rebuilt my life since then, I now have had the same job for 2 years as a pharmacy tech, I have a three bedroom home and I am in a steady relationship with a man who also has reccovery. He is the b/f. I went to court 10/9 and the mediator recommended that the kids live with me but the judge stipulated shared custody until the soon to be ex can prove himself. He must drug test 4 times a month, clean up his home and have it inspected, and attend parenting classes. This is a man who hasn't gone without drugs or alcohol in over 25 years.<p>As for the sex before marriage issue we have committed to no sex! I am excited about this and it seem to be enhancing our relationship with each other and with God. And it is what my girls are learning too, several bonuses so far but I also notice I feel more insecure in the love dept. I think we all KNOW the right thing when we hear it, I did when my pastor confrontd me.

Diane<p>In response to your question... I can suggest some resources.<p>http://www.growthtrac.com/story/<p>These are personal accounts of couples who moved apart.<p>You'll see a recurring theme: The payback isn't obvious, doesn't even make sense. But committing to purity and moving apart will pay dividends in your relationship.<p>Statistics bear out the benefits &#8211; relationships last, fewer divorces.
Couples who have taken the step talk about renewed confidence, improved communication, stronger trust, etc.<p>Biblically too, it&#8217;s the right thing to do.<p>Also, look here:
http://www.growthtrac.com/articles/indexeng.shtml<p>
Question: What do your girls think about a &#8220;boyfriend&#8221; living at home with you?
What is the example you&#8217;re setting? How will you respond someday when your daughter wants to move in with her boyfriend?<p>This is about creating a legacy too.

Regarding your question about the things my girls see and learn, these are the issues I have recently been trying to change. I've raised 3 other children amongst the fighting, drinking and drugging (they are adults now)and they have really done very good for themselves. They are all financially independant and have good jobs, my 20 year old son just bought his first house.
I do indeed want to raise these 2 girls (7&9) with in a Christian home with good values. This is one of the reasons my b/f and I have just committed to not sleeping together.
When the time comes for them to meet and want a man in thier lives I should hope that good moral values will be instilled in them and that they would choose to be with a equally moral man. I know the chances of the hormones being kept at bay are slim, but I think what they learn from our choices now may help them later to see that there is a better way, a right way with God.<p>In His Love, Diane<p>P.S. Thank you for the links, I enjoy the website and have it book marked. It must be new????

Diane<p>As far as I know, the site is about a year old.
I love it too.<p>``````````````````<p>In terms of your daughters, we're talking about creating a "legacy", a story. You are setting an example. Someday you'll be able to say, "Remember when he moved out before we got married?"<p>It shows integrity, acting on your beliefs.