Dealing with a situation at church involving a couple who is living together due to the fact that they cannot be married because her husband will not grant the divorce. They have since accepted Christ and now find themseles in a unique situation, wanting to be married and honor GOD but not able to do so. The church is not comfortable in allowing them to do any upfront ministry and am wondering what any of your perceptions would be in this situation?

It would seem to me that if the husband won't grant a divorce then they should not be living together. As new Christians wanting to serve God they should consider separate living arrangements until a divorce can be had so they can be married.<p>Not the ideal for them since they have been living together but if they wish to honour God that would be the way to do it. To have prayer coverage about hubby allowing a divorce would be good too as nothing is impossible with God. Then they have the freedom to get married and be pure before God.<p>I agree with the church not wanting them to serve if they are living together and not married as that would cause spiritual problems in the church itself it a Pastor was to condone this arrangement by allowing them in a position of ministry. Churches have been seriously divided and stagnent from such situations.<p>(recommend reading: Breaking Intimidation by John Bevere - you can buy it at you Christian bookstore).<p>[ June 20, 2002: Message edited by: kary ]</p>

Having worked in a church office for 18+ months, I do have something to say.<p>The openly adulterous relationship of anyone involved in a public ministry would have a serious negating effect. While the ministry function might be a worthy one, it would be almost devoid of credibility as the individuals are not living a life which appears to be God-centered. Smacks of selfishness.<p>Now, that said, I will tell you that, when our previous minister was arrested, he was supported thoroughly by leaders of our congregation. He was removed from the pulpit and left on payroll for a while in order to provide stability for all - including his wife and children. He is in jail and is still loved - but he totally destroyed his ministerial credibility and did resign just a few months later. And when the minister who succeeded him was in the selection process, the congregation was advised of his prior inappropriate relationship with a member of a former congregation and of the healing that had taken place in his marriage. And, to this day, I have not heard significant open grumbling about it. But, he left the relationship, left voluntarily his position, relocated with his family and focussed on rebuilding their lives.<p>But, lingering in a Biblically condemned lifestyle does not model Godliness.

dcrellim:<p>If she's become a christian maybe if she left this relationship God could heal her marriage??

Hey,D. I was a pastor who had an A and I resigned my ministry--unfortunately, H had to resign his, too because the denomination we were in required both to be pastors. <p>I could not lead the church in good integrity after having lied to them for months. It's interesting as God has restored my M, my life so much and it seems like lately I often hear hints that God could still use me as a minister again. I feel fulfilled serving Him the way I am at the moment.<p>Anyway, all that to say, yes, the couple may be in a little different situation but being new Christians, they should desire to show good integrity and honour Christ in their lifestyle.<p>It is a good test of their love and relationship to live apart and wait for God's will to unfold regarding re-marriage. <p>Leadership should not be considered until their marriage issue is sorted out. That is the biblical mandate. If the church is to enjoy God's blessings for obedience, then the couple must wait until they are married to serve in a frontline capacity.<p>As a former pastor and now pastor's wife (H returned to ministry--yay!), I can attest to the fact that there are many ways to serve behind the scenes that are almost as essential if not more so as those "limelight" positions. (Like scraping lime off the lights, heh heh!) [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Blessings!

It sounds like you have some very teachable people on your hands. That is so cool.<p>As an elder in my church we have to deal with this sort of thing from time to time. The first thing to do here is a careful examination of scripture should be undertaken to determine the appropriateness of a divorce and also the re-marriage. Many theologians differ on their view of all of these things. It is important that your church leadership come to a conclusion on these matters for your congregation. <p>No matter how you come down on the divorce/remarriage issue they must seperate immediately. Scripture is pretty clear on that. If they are unwilling to do so they should not be involved in ministry until they do. <p>The issue at hand is really one of obediance and submission to the authority of scripture.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dcrellim:
<strong>Dealing with a situation at church involving a couple who is living together due to the fact that they cannot be married because her husband will not grant the divorce. They have since accepted Christ and now find themseles in a unique situation, wanting to be married and honor GOD but not able to do so. The church is not comfortable in allowing them to do any upfront ministry and am wondering what any of your perceptions would be in this situation?</strong><hr></blockquote>

I think as new Christians, they need to live seperately. They need to seek some couseling before they get married so they can understand what marriage is all about. Marriage is not only for people who Love each other because Love is a choice. Love is also something that is unconditional. Marriage is a unity between 3 God the Father, Husband and Wife.<p>At the present time, being that the woman is not divorced from her 1 spouse I dont feel she is really ready for marriage. She needs to focus on what God says about marriage and her responsibilities will be as a wife. And is she really ready.