Let me start by giving you a lot of numbers: I'm 33 years old, boyfriend is 30 years old. We have known each other for 12 years, been together for 10 years, lived together for 4 years, have 3 kids together (8yr. old, 3yr. old, and 6mo. old). We have had major relationship problems throughout our being together. We are currently going to counseling. I want to get married, he can go either way. Should I wait any longer for him? On top of that, he wants me to get into a consolidation loan with him. (Breakdown of loan: His debt would be $9,000 and mine would be $2,500). This loan will be for a term of 36 months. I've pretty much agreed on this consolidation loan thing, however have been really thinking against it since he is not as eager to marry me as I am to marry him. I don't want to get stuck paying his debt for the next 3 years ESPECIALLY if we aren't married! I could sign this loan agreement today, and he could very possibly leave me tomorrow! Then I'm stuck! Any advice? I was thinking of telling him that if he's not willing to sign a contract with me for marriage, then I'm not willing to sign a contract to pay his debt. I really didn't want to use the ultimatum thing. Any other suggestions?

I would be very hesitant to sign for anything together. The reason I say this is simply from experience.
I signed a loan on a house with a BF with the understanding that we were going to be married and it was to be our house. Guess what? We didn't get married, he bought out my share and continued to live there. BUT, and that is a very BIG BUT, he didn't make his pymts. regularly. Now my excellent credit is ruined as he continues to make late pymts. My only recourse would be to sue him which would cost me tons as he is out of state. The bank won't just take my name off the mortgage and he refuses to refinance as his interest rate would increase due to his pymt. history. And possibly he wouldn't even qualify for refinance. So I am stuck with this bad mark on my credit.
I'm sure you wouldn't want to be in the same situation. So please, please consider the consequences first.

I think it's ill-advised to enter into any sort of binding legal agreement with a boyfriend. You will have very little recourse if he does bail on you. Bottom line, this man is not formally committed to you, so you shouldn't formally commit to pay his debts.

The next two statements, taken in tandem, are a little perplexing: "We have had major relationship problems throughout our being together" and "I want to get married, he can go either way."

1) Why marry someone who isn't so eager about marriage as you?

2) Why marry someone you've continually had "major" problems with?

10 years is more than enough time for this man to decide if he wants you as his life partner. If he doesn't want to get married now, will he ever? If the answer is no, are you okay with that? How do your children figure into your decision-making - that is, are you wanting to marry this man because he is the children's father? Or because he is someone you could happily do life with for the next 40 or 50 years?