Please help me. I was married for 28 years and my H wanted a divorce. I tried everything to make it work for 1 1/2 years and gave it. During the divorce I meet a very wonderful men that sweeped me off my feet. My H stopped the divorce and wanted me back. My new guy encouraged me to get the divorce because we loved each other. I got the divorce and mover in with him. Its been 8 months and now he wants his space and just wants to hang with the guys, he doesn't want me to bug him if we are at the same places, he won't take me on any motorcycle rides and I just found out that he took someone else out this weekend. He has said that maybe I should get my own place it would make our relationship stronger. I don't want to loose him but he is feeling smothered. I don't want to move. I am giving him his space and want him back. What do I do.

If a man can't want you the way you need to be wanted, you are setting yourself up for more pain trying to force the issue.

Whatever he is going to do he will do. He is a disappointment I know. But it is not a problem you can fix by pressing.

Give him his space. If he is going to leave, he will leave anyway if you don't give him space. You obviously have started a relationship with someone who puts himself first and doesn't stop to consider how his actions hurt you. Why don't you want to lose this man who went out with someone else and won't allow you on his motorcycle?

Is it something about crying after him and being pathetic that you enjoy? Because that is how he will see you.

HeWantsOut,

I am so sorry for your situation, and I am not one to give advise in the middle of my turmoil. Put I do suggest you post these question on General Questions II. I sincerely do not think, as the last post said that you are acting pathetic. We are all here to feel, "receive help and a bit of compassion". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Good luck in finding your way!

<small>[ September 10, 2002, 12:58 PM: Message edited by: Lost & Hopeless ]</small>

No offense, but a wonderful guy wouldn't encourage a marriage of twenty eight years to end in divorce and brush you off after a matter of months.Quite frankly, he sounds like a jerk.After that long a marriage you may have needed more time on your own and live-in relationships don't usually work out well-if you marry,your chances of divorce double.
My mother always said "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" It may sound old fashioned and cruel, but the truth is-its true.
Is your ex still single? He couldn't have been too bad if you lasted that many years with him.
Eight months??? Dump him and don't look back!