I was living with my girlfriend for about a year. I was planning to marry her if things worked out. She was paying the utility bills. My 18 year old daughter also lives with us. My GF had a arguement with my daughter and things got sticky. It was difficult for me to take sides. Also my GF thought whe was getting ripped off because she paid the utility bills. I paid the other bills taxes ,insurance etc. pleaded with her to stay but she moved out. She still wanted to remain in contact with me. I was with my GF every night for a year. I told her in anger not to come back. I was with my GF every night for a year. I responded to adds in the personals introducing myself to new prospects. She found out about it through my email and questioned me and i lied about the personals. I made no attempt to contact any old girlfriends because I had no interest in them. In turn she went out with a ex boyfriend 2 days after she moved and had oral sex with him. dont think she intended to tell me but she had a arguement with her friend and she thought she would tell me. She told me many personal things about him like she could not resist him and he could talk her into anything. She also was asking me if he was playing games with her. My GF said that she did not do anything wrong because we were technicaly broke up. My GF wants to marry me. I apologized to my GF for answering personal adds and told her it was wrong for lying abut it. I also explained it it would be unlikley for me to have sex with another women for quite some time because it would take a while to get over her. I feel that if she loved me it would be difficult or her to hop in bed 2 days later. Should i terminate the relationship? Did she cheat on me? Did I cheat on her? Is she likley to do it again?

I was planning to marry her if things worked out.
What do you mean by, "if things worked out"?

Sounds like you both have a LOT of issues to work out before you get back together and definitely before you even consider discussing marriage.

What I mean about if things work out, if we are compatable, do we get along, can we resolve conflicts, can we live ogether for the rest of our lives?

So does this incident mean things didn't work out and you aren't compatible? (getting you to think about it, not playing "head gamer" with you)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by daytimerider:
<strong> In turn she went out with a ex boyfriend 2 days after she moved and had oral sex with him. dont think she intended to tell me but she had a arguement with her friend and she thought she would tell me. She told me many personal things about him like she could not resist him and he could talk her into anything. She also was asking me if he was playing games with her. My GF said that she did not do anything wrong because we were technicaly broke up. I also explained it it would be unlikley for me to have sex with another women for quite some time because it would take a while to get over her. I feel that if she loved me it would be difficult or her to hop in bed 2 days later. Should i terminate the relationship? Did she cheat on me? Did I cheat on her? Is she likley to do it again?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This does NOT sound healthy at all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

A one night stand after 2 days??????
And because she was 'angry' at you?
Sounds like a pretty clear omen to move on and find someone else who won't go run off and do something silly like that just because you have a normal disagreement.
And I especially didn't like her remark "He can talk me into anything" - so suppose y'all did get married. I guess that means if this cat had a mind to, he could talk her into leaving you again and/or having some more sex with him.
She's best left to her own devices...
Olaf S.

to me i feal that she cheated ,in my case we are marriedbut liveing apart and talkin about devorse that she wants but i don't. i cought her with an exb/f and to me i feal that was cheating esepcialy that she denies anything happend but the obviouse showed otherwise. if you feal you can trust her it might be worth a try

Run like the wind!

If you take her back after this, you are setting the table for how your relationship will be in the future.

There are plenty of others out there and she needs to know that you could care less if she is with you or not.

I would also consider your own ability to be in a relationship at this time. You state that your daughter and girlfriend got in a fight and that you could not take sides. Well...you should have taken the side of the person who was right.

You need to command respect by your actions. Do not put up with this woman's shenanigans. You may not end up with her even though you want her, but it is much better to not have her but have her respect than to have her but have no respect from her.

Very negative responses from all. Here is one on the flipside. Now, you guys DID break up, so no, she didn't cheat on you, just as you did not cheat on her. An intimate encounter in my opinion is cheating. So really you are just as wrong as her for taking out personal ads as she is hooking up with an ex, if you felt that you two were still together. The things she said to you however, were very uncalled for, and I believe were said to antagonize you, otherwise why else would she tell you about it? I'm not sure why she would have done that, perhaps to show that she was desirable to other people, and to show you that you should give in or you would lose her. If she says that she DOES want to marry you, i believe that you should not rush into it, but give her another chance, but since this mishap, give it another year, (at least) if only to see if things could work out. People make mistakes and perhaps her being with another man made her realize how much she missed you and wanted to be with you. Not everybody is intelligent enough to know what and what not to say to other people, perhaps she WAS perplexed about her other situation, but didn't have that little voice that said, YOU ARE TALKING TO THE WRONG PERSON ABOUT IT!!. In short, try to talk it out, perhaps give it another shot if you still have strong feelings. Adios <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />