AND THE SURVEY SAYS……………………….<P><BR>1.Betrayed person is... <BR>Of 9 of 25 respondents were husbands<BR>16 of 25 respondents were wives<P> 2. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayed Husband ….. 9 respondents were business and professional men. <BR>b. Betrayed Wife …..7 housewives, 2 teacher/instructors, 1 nurse, 6 business/professional<P>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband ……..7 business and professional, 5 Service oriented occupations (pilot, law enforcement etc), 4 construction/ maintenance occupations<BR>b. Betrayer Wife ……..5 business/professional, 2 housewives, 1 nurse, 1 teacher<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 ………….5<BR>b. Between 30 - 40 ………….14<BR>c. Between 40 - 50 …………..6<BR>d. Over 50 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 -30 ………….6<BR>b. Between 30 - 40 ………….14<BR>c. Between 40 - 50 ………….5<BR>d. Over 50 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>a. Between 1 - 5 years …………6<BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years ……….8<BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years ………11<BR>c. Over 20 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one ……………………….18<BR>b. two ……………………….4<BR>c. three or more ……………..3<P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>a. yes …………………………0<BR>b. no ………………………….25<P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage averaged out to be approx. 1.5 per affair<BR>b. in life of Other Person ……averaged to be approx. 1.5 per affiar<BR>Total of 69 children affected by the affairs reported in this survey<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair …………17<BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior …………………….11<BR>Three people responded positive to both answers<P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months ………………..8<BR>b. 4 months to a year …………….7<BR>c. 1 to three years ………………..6<BR>d. over 3 years ……………………3<BR>E. Still going on…………………..1<P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes…………………………….13 <BR>b. no ……………………………..11<BR>c. don’t know………………………1<P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes…………………………..13 <BR>b. no ……………………………11<BR>c. don’t know…………………… 1<P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>a. yes……………………………..3 did until had meetings <BR>b. no …………………………….25<P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>a. yes ……………………………4<BR>b. no ……………………………21<P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes…………………………..19 <BR>b. no ………………………….. 7<BR> (One answered yes and no)<P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>a. yes…………………………..3 <BR>b. no ………………………….21<BR>c. don’t know………………….1<P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes………………………….12 <BR>b. no …………………………..13<P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes…………………………….15 <BR>b. no …………………………….10<P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes…………………………….23 <BR>b. no …………………………….. 2<P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>a. Betrayer………………………..2 <BR>b. Betrayed spouse ……………….5<BR>c. Both ……………………………18<P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>a. Betrayer…………………………1 <BR>b. Betrayed spouse ………………..10<BR>c. Both …………………………….12<BR>d. neither ………………………….. 2<P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes………………………………9 <BR>b. no ……………………………..16<P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>a. yes …………………………….3<BR>b. no …………………………….22<P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection………………………………..…….10 <BR>b. sexual fulfillment …………………….……….3<BR>c. conversation …………………………..….….. 7<BR>d. recreational companionship …………...………4<BR>e. honesty and openness ………………………..12<BR>f. an attractive spouse ……………………………1<BR>g. financial support ………………………………1<BR>h. domestic support ………………………………3<BR>i. family commitment …………………………….8<BR>j. admiration ………………………………………2<BR>(Some people chose more than three areas.)<P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection ……………………………………….5<BR>b. sexual fulfillment ………………………………3<BR>c. conversation ……………………………………5<BR>d. recreational companionship …………………….1<BR>e. honesty and openness …………………………..4<BR>f. an attractive spouse …………..………………….1<BR>g. financial support ……………………………….. 0<BR>h. domestic support ………………………………..0<BR>i. family commitment ………………………………1<BR>j. admiration ………………………………………..5<P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection …………………………………………7<BR>b. sexual fulfillment ………………………………..2<BR>c. conversation ……………………………………..7<BR>d. recreational companionship ……………………...0<BR>e. honesty and openness …………………………….2<BR>f. an attractive spouse ……………………………….2<BR>g. financial support ………………………………….0<BR>h. domestic support ………………………………….2<BR>i. family commitment ………………………………..0<BR>j. admiration ………………………………………….1<BR>(some respondents could not answer for their spouse)<P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection ……………………………………………4<BR>b. sexual fulfillment ………………………………….10<BR>c. conversation ………………………………………..2<BR>d. recreational companionship …………………………3<BR>e. honesty and openness ……………………………….1<BR>f. an attractive spouse ………………………………….4<BR>g. financial support …………………………………….2<BR>h. domestic support …………………………………….2<BR>i. family commitment …………………………………..1<BR>j. admiration …………………………………………….7<BR>(Some respondents could not answer for spouse)<P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>a. yes……………………………………………………4<BR>b. no…………………………………………………….21<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes……………………………………………………11<BR>b. no…………………………………………………….13<BR>c. unknown……………………………………………….1<P><BR>One respondents expressed curiosity as to the number of affairs started during pregnancy, or within a year post-partum.<BR>Wex wondered if pilots have a particularily bad reputation for this type of behavior. I have searched and searched for legitimate statistics dealing with this subject, but am willing to be there are more affairs in the aviation industry than any other, and that any bad reputation pilots may have in regard to affairs, is deserved!<P>Keep in mind that this survey represents only a small portion of the population affected by affairs. Also, some of the questions could have been worded differently.<P>Interesting to note that no spouses of betrayers reported having engaged in affairs themselves! Combined with the point that 17 of 25 respondents reported surprise at the existence of the affair makes you kinda wonder. Are we just too easy going, or naïve, too moral?<P>Sexual fulfillment was the number 1 unmet need for betraying husbands, while affection was the number 1 unmet need for betrayed husbands. Hmmmmmmm<P>Betrayed wives reported the most unmet needs in the area of openness and honesty, followed closely by the need for affection, while betraying wives indicated the need for conversation, equaled with the need for affection as the most unmet needs in their relationships. <P>Look at the needs that got not votes!<P>Any other comments guys?<P>We can continue this to get a larger population if anyone who did not respond want to be included.<P>Thanks for participating and sorry it took me so long to get back to the BB with results. Hubby has been home this week.<BR>
