Hi everyone,
Looking for comments and/or advice...

My BF is separated and getting divorced. He, his wife, and I all live in different countries. He has been visiting me for the past month (I guess we are living together, temporarily). At first, I never entered 'his' room at my place without his permission even though the door was always open, because I respect his privacy. Then he told me not to be silly as he had nothing to hide.

Recently, he started closing the door. And reeking of alcohol and a couple of times he was hornier than usual. I told him I was concerned that something was troubling him that he was turning to alcohol for comfort instead of sharing his burden with me. I asked him about our sex life and he said "I'll tell you what it wasn't -- it wasn't medication." (He uses viagra for medical reasons.)

Things added up and I got suspicious, so when he went on a trip, I poked my nose into the drawer where he keeps his stuff in his room. I found a bottle of vodka and some soft-porn videos.

Previous to all this, we have had frank and sensitive talks about alcohol abuse and porn because we both drink heavily at times and recognize it's not healthy; we both like erotic films, and he said it helps his ED but he doesn't want me to think he prefers it to me -- I said we should watch it together and use it as a tool to enhance our love life.

I was in the wrong to look through his stuff. At the same time, I am unhappy about his secret stash of alcohol and porn. Now, what should I do? Do I have a right to expect him to do things differently? Am I being controlling and demanding? Should I trust him? Should he trust me?

I love this man and would like to get married with him some day. How can I create the right foundations for a healthy and lasting commitment?

Thanks for your help!

Salt