I'm confused. I am 30 years old and divorced with a 6 year old child. I moved home with my mother through my divorce and to get back on my feet. I am now with a loving man and we live in separate residences. I am 7 months pregnant with his child. This obviously was not planned. I intended to have only the one. Our families are both equally disappointed as am I. My family is quite vocal about this and his family is not. We both know they feel the same way. This was my new leaf, my start over. I so wanted to do it RIGHT this time. Date, fall in love, get engaged, be married, by the house and maybe have another child. I am going in butt first. Being at home is unhealthy for me mentally I know and when I try to be happy about this pregnancy and my relationship, I get slammed. I have almost allowed myself to feel regret to keeping this child and abortion is not an option. We have talked about moving in with each other and have researched it. The bottom line continues to be "do not move in with each other before you are married even if children are involved." Regardless of the committment. I want this relationship to be for life and cannot stand the thought of another failed marriage or the shared custody of my child. I still want to do things right. I am looking into purchasing a home in the near future with only my name on it. I will not ask him to move in and will not do so until we are married. We know when we do it will be out of love for each other, not the children. How long do I wait? I am afraid things will change drastically after the child is born. We have not had enough alone time to really build that foundation. I'm so confused. So many different things playing into one bottom line. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

((untouch))

Sorry it's taken so long to get a WELCOME.... Like me, I'm sure others have read this but don't know what to offer. I can sympothize with everyone involved in this situation, including your mom.

I do have a question, what were the chances that this relationship was heading towards marriage before y'all got pregnant? Have the talks of marriage came up? How are y'all planning on supporting this child?

I don't know an answer for you,but I can offer you a few things you may want to think through.
I know all too well the effects divorce have on us as women wether we wanted the divorce or not,ultimately we lose a part of ourselves and the depth of what we have lost varies depending on each of us, what we invested in the relationship, how long we were with them, how hard we tried to make the marriage work, and ultimately how much we loved. Sometimes when we are at a loss and we are just trying to pick up the pieces of our lives and actually try to have a life instead of living in a void numb or state of continuous shock we can latch on to someone who comes along who "seems" to be a knight in shining armor,"just what we needed" and then we begin another cycle. It's nice to be wanted and feel like someone is out there who cares about us and loves us for who we are, but be cautious while you may have your knight, you need time to heal divorce is a process. Just because a judge signs a piece of paper that terminates our marriage does not mean that chapter of our lives are just immidately resolved, it takes time,time to heal,time to adjust,and time to bounce back and be able to think objectively about what we are doing. We all know where God stands on the issue of sex before marriage and although it's probably the hardest thing to follow because of our human fleshly desires and the fact that we were used to having a physical companion while we were married. God's rule on this is probably to prevent the very thing that has happened in this situation. We can not undo what we have done and will still have to face the consequences of our decision,but before jumping into another marriage, pray long and hard to seek out what God's will for your life is. God hears our pleas for help and he wants what is best for us, but we have to be willing to listen to God, dig into his word and seek his direction. I wish you the best of luck with your situation. And most importantly don't forget to tend to and get your 6 yr olds thoughts and feelings on things as well, remember this child is dealing with a lot and has lost even more than you have. Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own mess that we can sometimes unintentionally overlook the ones who need us the most (our children). Your child will look to you and see how you dealt with your situation and we are to be an example. Good luck and may God be with you and your family.

Thank you for your responses. In response to Bill, We have and still do talk about marriage. We talked before this little bundle of joy was conceived. It has and still remains something cherished for each of us and certainly something we don't want to rush into. We have a solid support structure in place and just need to work the final details.

As for Misty's response, I can truly appreciate your response. God is the center of my life and I have relied on him throughout my whole ordeal. I should have been more clear that it has been two years since and I had just come out of the darkness when I met my man. I know there are no knights in shining armor. The pain of my divorce has taken a huge toll on myself and my daughter. We have been by each other each step of the way. I have reassured her, loved her and made sure she got the attention she deserves. Even more so with her little brother on the way. I reinforce positive thoughts about her daddy and that the reason we are not together has nothing to do with her. She knows and understands this. I do ackowledge her feelings of wanting us to be together.

I know bringing a new man into her life is a very delicate matter and I have taken great pains to ensure this is done successfully. They enjoy each other and I have put trust in God that he will allow their relationship to build as it should it in its own time. They are doing great and we both encourage and reinforce her excitedment about her little brother <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />