I won't be on the forum for a few days. I'm unexpectedly taking my anonymous little trip this afternoon and probably won't have access to a computer.<P>H is not supposed to be at the OW's business or anywhere around her unless I'm with him.<P>I just caught him at her restaurant. I was so mad that I screamed all the way back to work. I called him at the restaurant. The waitress said that he said he would call me back on his truck phone. (A dead giveaway that he knew I was mad.) I got back to work, and the phone started ringing. He asked, "Whatcha need?" I said, "I hope you enjoyed your f***ing lunch!" and slammed the phone down. He came back to our business and wanted to know what in the hell was wrong with me. I told him that I was tired of his blantant disrespect of me after I had specifically asked him not to go there without me or be anywhere around her unless I was there. He did the little "we're just friends" mantra. I said, "I'm not saying that you screwed her, but there was something between you that is a g-d big secret from me, and I'm sick of it." About that time, a customer came in so the discussion stopped. While I was waiting on the customer, he decided that he would go on back to work. I told him "GOODBYE!"<BR> So, after my daughter leaves work to take her son to the doctor, I'm locking the place up, packing my s*** up, and leaving town for a few days. If, when I come back, my H is not ready to tell me the truth, he will have to leave. If he doesn't, then I will. I have no more patience. I have a life to live, and I don't want to live it the way he apparently has it planned.<P>BTW, I just called a woman who used to work for OW. I was prepared to take what she said with a grain of salt, since OW fired her, but she said that she didn't KNOW anything other than that H has done a lot of things for OW--like work on something upstairs over her restaurant, down at her house, etc., but that H wasn't the only one who helped her out. She said that H and OW did seem to be closer than she would feel comfortable with, but that it may just be a friendship.<BR> Well, that's it. Gotta put the finishing touches on the letter I'm leaving for H. Then I need to rustle up some money and take off.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Sweetpea (edited August 31, 1999).]

Sorry Sweetpea. Try to take care of yourself on your trip. Hope he sees the light.

Sweet Pea<P>Wherever you go, they have libraries and internet access. <P>You contact us, you hear? Now - he has to $^!+ or get off the pot. So do you.<P>You need to make a plan, and stick to it. You need to make sure he gets no unclear messages here - if it is plan B - you make darn sure it is a clear and consise plan.<P>No mixed messages. In otherwords, it's A with no lovebusters = I want US to work on the marriage but I will if you don't.<P>or it's B with no lovebusters = I want this marriage to work, but until you are serious I am going to be independent and no contact. When you have agreed no contact I will talk to you and we can start counseling. But I want the marriage to work.<P>B + lovebusters = I do not want this marriage.<P>A + lovebusters = I want misery, and misery likes company.<P>Okay????? <P>DO NOT SEND MIXED MESSAGES!!!!

Once again TnT is right on. Even if there is nothing going on with your h and ow, they are setting themselves up for failure. Just the fact that they have this secret together starts to build a relationship excluding you. Do a lot of thinking while you are gone then follow your plan.