MywifeandIhavebeenmarriedfortenyearsandhavetwowonderfulchildren.Wehavebeenseparatedfor5months,butnotforthemostcommonreasons.Therehasbeennophysicalormentalabuse.Noaffairsetc..IntheverybeggingIhadmadeapromisetoherthatIwouldtakecareofherandanychildrenwehadfinanciallysoshecouldbeahomemaker.Thatisallshehaseverwanted.Fivemonthsagosheaskedforustoseparate.Shestatedthatshestilllovesme.butisnolongerINLOVEWITHMEanymore.Shethinksofmemoreasherbestfriendorbrother.Iloveherwithallmyheartandsoul.Ihavestartedanewcareerandammakingverygoodmoney.Ihavebackedofftolethergatherherselfandemotions.TherearemanyotherdetailsbutIwillnotgointothemhere.AllI'maskingis,isthereasecretformulaorsolutiontowinningbackherheart.Ihaveallthepatienceintheworld.Pleasehelpme!
<br>Veryalone.

Wayne,
<p>What kind of things did you do when you were dating to earn her love? It's like Dr. Harley says, you need to keep doing the kind of things you did when you were trying to court her. I find myself in the same position your wife is in. I love my husband but more as a very close friend. He is a good man but I question his ability to give me the things I need and want. When we met he was very romantic and very complimentary to me but nine years and three children later I'm lucky to get so much as an hello at the end of the day. I am also a stay at home mother like your wife and people who stay home need alot more in the way of praise than someone who is out there achieving things in the work place. The only person that can tell us we are doing a good job is our spouse and (not to generalize) most men forget that their stay at home wives need to hear this. You do have one thing going for you and that is that you care that things have gotten this bad. Romance your wife. Make her remember why she married you in the first place. Show her that she is more than just the mother of your children and when you do win her back never stop doing those things. I wish you luck because if you can make it then there is hope for me.
<br>Steph

Wayne
<p>Once again, Steph is right! You need to 'court' your wife again. Write her love notes and put them in neat places, like taped to the mirror in the bathroom, or in her coffee cup, so she sees them first thing in the morning. Bring her flowers, take her out for a romantic picnic...get creative. My husband and I also went through this, and one night he bought me the wine glasses that I had been admiring for months, he had them in the bedroom with my favorite scented candle and a bottle of wine. WOW! What a romantic night that was. He sends me email every morning...when he is working close to home (he is in construction) he pops in at lunch time with a candy bar or my favorite...Lipton Tea..sweetened, no lemon. Or when I clean his lunch box out I will find a rose, or my favorite candy bar, and that tells me more than anything that he is thinking about me during the day, and that means so much! Its little things like this that keep the romance alive. Try these suggestions and see if you notice a change in your wife. I would bet my last dollar that you will. But remember, you have to always do these little special things, not every day, but often. Also, when you come home, what do you say to your wife? A big one for me is hearing my husband say "Wow honey the house looks great!" or "MMMMM babe, supper was wonderful!" It may not seem like a lot to you (or other men) but it means a lot to us stay at home wives. Everyone needs a little praise from time to time.
<br>Good luck to you!

ToSteph&Kellian
<br>Thank-youbothforyourreplies,howevertheeditorforthiswordprocessordidn'tseparatethewordscorrectlyanditwashardtoreadasposted.IfyoucanitasaincarefullyyouwillseethatmywifeandIarenotlivingtogether(for5months).IcannotdothethingsthatStephsuggestedthateasily.Mywifehastoldmethatshefeelsbetrayedbymefornothavingfulfilledmypromiseoftakingcareofherandthechildrenfinancially.HowdoyouthinkIcan
<br>regainthatlossoftrust.Shesaysshestill
<br>lovesmebutisnotinlovewithmeandshe
<br>canseenohopeorhelpforhowshefeelsas
<br>ifshedidshewoulddoit.Ifyoucanadd
<br>anyothersuggestionsonhowIcantryandfixthisIwouldgreatlyappreciatethehelp.

Wayne,
<p>What do you mean by "not taking care of her and the children finacially"? Even if she is not living with her you can do the little things in life that show our love. Send her cards, flowers, or just leave little notes on her car. Offer to do things for her that she may have a hard time doing for herself. Try taking her on dates and arranging the babysitting for her.
<br>Steph