This is a very embarrasing subject for me, but I feel that I need some help, input, advice. My wife and I have been married for 2 years, have been together for 5 years, and lived together for 2 years before we were married. My problem is this: Whenever I touch my wife, or even look at her, I get aroused. I have never had this problem before with another woman, not even my first wife. It is becomming a real problem with my wife. She enjoys our love making, but does not want to make love as often as I do. I have asked other people about this, and have been called a pervert, sex fiend, and numerous other things. I just dont know what to do, or how to explain what I feel when I am close to my wife. I feel this deep need to be close to her, to please her sexually,to please myself sexually. I masturbate daily, sometimes more than once, and still, when I see her, think about her, touch her, I get aroused---immediatly. I admit that I 'pester' her a lot, even after she tells me no, and have even thought that that is about the same thing as rape, although I have never forced her to have sex with me. I love my wife very much, she is my whole world, and I dont want to lose her, but I am afraid that if I dont control these sexual urges I have, that I will push her further away than she already is. She feels that any time I touch her, that I was to make love, and she is right. I cant even hug her without getting aroused, I cant sit beside her and watch television without being aroused. I feel very ashamed about this, I have tried to control myself and my urges, but I cant, and I fear that I am losing my wife because of this. Please help me, any advice that any of you have for me would be appreciated greatly. Am I a pervert? Is this a medical problem? Should I see a doctor?

I've never heard of this being any kind of a medical problem and from what you've said, your increased desires is purely a direct result of your feelings for her...in which case, I not only think this is nice but wish she could understand that as your wife she should be more sympathetic to your physical needs.
<p>I probably can't begin to imagine how much you are actually approaching her, on the other hand, the more I've said "no" to my own husbnad, the greater his needs for it have been. Your wife just might be surprised to find out that if she said yes a little more often that you just might find the satisfaction you need to bother her less.
<p>...good luck...wish all men felt as you do about their wives...she's a very lucky lady!

Marie
<p>I appreciate your responding to my husband. Believe me i know how lucky i am to have him, and i cherish his love more than anything. However, you did not get both sides of the story.
<br>You said "your increased desires is purely a direct result of your feelings for her...in which case, I not only think this is nice but wish she could understand that as your wife she should be more sympathetic to your physical needs."
<p>What about my needs? My needs are emotional, and sometimes he does not fulfill these. I love the fact that he is attracted to me, really I do, but sometimes things get totally out of control with him. He was being honest when he said that he cant even hug me without getting aroused, and that, at times can be annoying.
<br>And this comment from you "Your wife just might be surprised to find out that if she said yes a little more often that you just might find the satisfaction you need to bother her less." HA! Let me tell you something, and I have told him this too, I can make love to him three times during the day, once before he goes to work, once when he comes home for lunch, and once when he gets home from work, and STILL, when we go to bed at night, he is all over me, and when I say no, he gets upset with me. Believe me, I have tried. I cant keep up with him!
<br>He sometimes jokes that I need to hire help, and while I know that he is only kidding, it hurts to hear him say that, makes me feel like I am not satisying him. We do many different things to keep out sex life 'interesting' , neither of us wants to become like our parents, Sex on Saturday Night only. I am a stay home mom, and there are days that i am so stressed with the kids that i cant even imagine being touched. I have also been on meds for depression, they helped, but then i stopped taking them, they were very expensive, Cameron and I both think that I need to start them again.
<br>Another problem stems from my being molested as a child. I still have flashbacks at times, despite counseling. I had repressed memories, and details are still comming out to this day.
<br>So, now Marie, maybe you have a better understanding of my feelings, and can offer more advice, to me, Cameron, or the both of us.
<p>Thanks for your input.
<p>

Jennifer
<br>I hope you are still hanging in there.
<br>We went to the weekend and had a great time my H says we should have done it sooner.
<br>he is a changed man more happe and very sweet. just wanted to let you know it is a great thing, give it a try. Check out the web site at www.wwme.org or try www.retrouvaille.org that is another weekend for couples.
<br>Good luck and if you want more info you can e-mail me at dondelia@foto.infi.net.
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