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Whoever'd been there -- a whole year apart, how to start over?
#65157 08/12/98 02:32 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 66
CA, USA
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yes_dup2 Offline OP
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yes_dup2
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 66
CA, USA
Advice solicited!
<p>11 years of being together, really together, 13 years altogether (marriage and separation included). Midlife crisis on both sides. Depression, chronic. An affair on each side. Depression, acute -- on the opposite side.
<p>Still, looks like the bond is there. Long talks (on the phone). Sharing thoughts and feelings (about anything and everything BUT us).
<p>Anybody -- who was there or just knows a secret -- how to get back? How to get back when there is no willingness on the other side? How to start over?
<p>How to avoid pulling and pushing? How to make a new beginning?
<p>Any advice -- book reference -- Web site link -- magic stick -- whatever is appreciated.
<br><p>[This message has been edited by ILM.]
Re: Whoever'd been there -- a whole year apart, how to start over?
#65158 08/13/98 09:32 AM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3
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Nala Offline
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Nala
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Sounds like you are looking for what I am also. My husband and I haven't been separated physically very long, but emotionally a lot longer. It sounds like you are on the right track - with the talks and sharing of feelings. I'd suggest you ask her out on a date, and try courting her again. The only book I can suggest at this point is one by Dr. Gary Chapman - "Hope for the Separated." I just finished it and it has some decent guidelines. Good luck!
Re: Whoever'd been there -- a whole year apart, how to start over?
#65159 08/13/98 11:34 AM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 66
CA, USA
Y
yes_dup2 Offline OP
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yes_dup2
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 66
CA, USA
Thank you, Nala!
<p>I'll get the book -- an Internet order.
<p>Unfortunately, it takes a while before it arrives (a few weeks). And the need is here and now...
<p>May I ask you to share some key moments? I am about to meet with my husband soon and don't want to make mistakes.
<p>Thanks again!

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