Please tell me I have hope
<br>I need to hear something positive
<p> thanks
<br> Jim
<br>

Dear Stribik
<br>All hope is not lost.
<br>Are you listening to what she has to say or just hearing the words? The first rule is to listen and keep your opinions to your self. She will let you know if she wants your opinion or advice. Keep your answers short when you do reply, don't write a book. Don't assume you answered correctly, always end the answer with " is that what I hear you saying" etc.. Miss understanding can lead to negativity. You need to deposit as many Love Credits as you can and withdraw as little as possible. Keep your chin up it will work out if you have patience.
<br>Now about the sex thing. You can't simply ask her if she wants to have sex. A woman reacts by emotion and feelings. She likes to be courted and pampered, not rushed. If you wish to initiate intimacy, start early in the day with I Love You's, little notes, flowers. Call her from work to let her know you are thinking of her. What ever you do, do not lie to her about anything, ever. If you haven't used these things before it is hard at first but with practice you will get better.
<br>If she says she needs space then gice it to her. Don't get jealous about her talking with this other person. It shows to her you are insecure about yourself. Be strong and control any kind of jealousy and resentment in. Discuse exactly how you FEEL or how it hurts you in a positive manner. Don't raise your voice or yell you will not like the response you get. Think of how you would feel if you were yelled at or talked to in a condesending way. Work on these things and I guarantee things will get better. Read some of Dr. Harleys books, he knows what he is talking about. If you haven't read over the material listed at this site take the time it does wonders for your perception of things.

Jim,
<p>You wife could be me except my husband has never moved out. I have read your other post and it sounds like you are on the right track. As far as her friend online in concerned, the more she gets from you the less she will need him, and I'm sure if things start going better with the two of you she will eventually slow down the contact with him. Asking her for sex after having told her you don't want false hopes was probably not a good thing. Even in a good marriage a wife doesn't want to be asked to have sex. She want to be loved in a non sexual way. Snuggle, back rubs, just being held. If you would have done some of those things it may have led to sex but asking out right probably turned her off. Yes I would treat her as if you were dating again. Give her the little notes, flowers, plan a special date, find something little that would mean the world to her and do it for her. For me all it would take is for my H to offer to watch the kids while I went out with some friends. Give her the time and space that she is asking for. If you are patient and understanding she will start to come to you. But like I have said in another post. It took alot of years to get to this point and we can't expect it to get fixed in a day or two. It could take as long or longer to fix, but in the end I think you will end up with something much better than when you started. Good Luck!
<br>Steph