Since our separation, I have practically killed myself trying to show my wife how much I love her by actions, not just words. I do all the 'little' stuff like cards, flowers, compliments, etc. Lately I have done lots of 'big' things too. I helped her move into her new apartment, helped her do some rennovations, hell I even bought her a new car! But it seems as though all of these things have not had much of an effect on our relationship at all. I feel like a 'buddy' and not a husband. I just returned from her house. She called at 11pm to tell me she was out of diapers. So, of course, I brought her some. My counselor tells me that I am not giving her a chance to miss me. But I thought I was supposed to be there for her and to "deposit love units". If they were currency, she'd be a billionaire. As I stated in an earlier post, I am seeing signs that her heart is softening. Do I continue doing what I am doing, or make myself unavailable so that she will see what life is like without me to turn to for these things? I have yet to receive a call asking to just come over to spend time together. There is always some other reason. And when I am there, there is no affection. Help!
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From my own experience with my ex-fiancee I'll tell you how I felt (woman's point of view). My ex did all the things you're doing he even bought me a car. He called and came around constantly and I grew to resent him. We decided to seperate to determine our true feelings for each other. I felt that he didn't understand or care about my feelings when he kept bombarding me with cards, flowers, and telephone calls. I need time to determine what I wanted from our relationship and I couldn't do that with him always around. I did take advantage of him because he let me and then lost respect for him. He became very desperate and his total lack of self respect disgusted me. We never got back together. If I were you I'd give her space, but before you stop calling her and running her errands, let her know that you love her and want to be with her, but not as her personal servant. Let her know that if she needs you she can call you, but don't let her take advantage of you. Keep your dignity and self respect because that'll be all you have if she ends up leaving you for good.
<p>Take care and good luck!

I'm about to be in the same boat as you. My wife is moving out next week. For the last 2 years I have sent her flowers, cards you name it, you can't deposit love units into a bottomless pit! I'am not helping her move. I will support her. But I don't plan on calling her for a long time, if ever. She has to make a move towards me. The ball is in her corner.
<br>I love her more than anything, and would do anything for her.
<br>Why women need to do this is beyond me.
<p>Ryan you need to do what is right for your situation. I think you should back off, and not pursue her. Good luck to you!