Its been a year this past week that I was separated from my wife and son.I have tried to be there for both of them whenever they have needed me.My wife has told me a few times that she still loves me but that she cannot ever be my wife anymore.
<br>For a while there she was sending me mixed messages by telling me not to do anything and saying "I don't know" and "Maybe in a year or two" and "Who knows whats going to happen".
<br>I've been getting along great with my son and I've seen a little softening of her heart but last weekend she said that she went and stayed overnite at a guys house that she met at a parenting class.
<br>I think that the end is near and that she will probably start the paperwork for divorce soon.
<br>I'm heartbroken but I told her that all I am concerned about now is that her and my son be safe and happy. I also said that I would be there if they ever wanted me.
<br>I wrote to Dr Harley a year ago to say that it would take a miracle to save this marriage after the distructive behavior that was going on but he disagreed and said I had to remove all this first(which I did with some work)and to try to eliminate the fear that I had caused in this relationship and to give it time.
<br>I still love my wife and I have tried deeply and honestly to show her with my actions that we could have a wonderful future together and sometimes I see it in her eyes that she thinks about it too.
<br>She goes to a counselor but does not want to see a marriage counselor because her counselor said it probably wouldn't do any good.
<br>I think the only thing holding on to this marriage is my hope.
<br>It's hard because when I see her she still loves my sense of humor and laughs at my jokes(I still have a little sense of humor left)
<br>Any input would really help as I'm running out of ideas.
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The only thing I noticed in your post that jumped out at me was the fact that her counselor said that marriage counseling would do no good. It is obvious that this must be a secular counselor and not a Christian one. My wife and I have been to 4 so far, the first two secular, the third our Pastor, and the fourth a professional AND Christian counselor. The difference is this...a Christian counselor will work from the word of God which says that a man and wife should not be divorced. A secular one, like our fisrt two, just wants everyone involved to "feel good" about whatever the decision is. I must tell you that since we have started with this last one, my wife and I are moving leaps and bounds towards reconciling. My wife said all the things yours has said, but she has really turned around in the past couple of months. I will say that a Pastor is not the first place I would go, simply because the one we had basically opened the Bible and said "do this because God says so", which I believe. But this counselor is giving us WAYS to get there. I do not know if you are a Christian or not, but God can and does work miracles. I know, because He has for me. My wife wanted a divorce with no ifs ands or buts less than 5 months ago. Now she does not. Pray! It works!

The only thing I noticed in your post that jumped out at me was the fact that her counselor said that marriage counseling would do no good. It is obvious that this must be a secular counselor and not a Christian one. My wife and I have been to 4 so far, the first two secular, the third our Pastor, and the fourth a professional AND Christian counselor. The difference is this...a Christian counselor will work from the word of God which says that a man and wife should not be divorced. A secular one, like our fisrt two, just wants everyone involved to "feel good" about whatever the decision is. I must tell you that since we have started with this last one, my wife and I are moving leaps and bounds towards reconciling. My wife said all the things yours has said, but she has really turned around in the past couple of months. I will say that a Pastor is not the first place I would go, simply because the one we had basically opened the Bible and said "do this because God says so", which I believe. But this counselor is giving us WAYS to get there. I do not know if you are a Christian or not, but God can and does work miracles. I know, because He has for me. My wife wanted a divorce with no ifs ands or buts less than 5 months ago. Now she does not. Pray! It works!