Meadow,
<p>You say some things your husband could change, others he couldn't. I can't comment specifically since I don't know what he can change, but if, for example, he is fat then he should try to change that.
<br>Bodily discipline is spiritual, too. The Lord made the body as well as the spirit and each requires upkeep. In fact they are so intertwined that neglect of one of necessity affects the other. I think you owe it to your husband to tell him about these things. Of course you'll need to sort out in your own mind just what is personal preference and what he should actually do.
<br>Years ago when I met my wife she attended a pentecostal church that frowned on dress that surpassed what it thought of as modest, which usually equated to downright drab. My wife was never comfortable with that and always dressed very well. Not flashy but definitely attractive and creatively.
<p>We moved to a different city and eventually started attending a charismatic church. The attitudes towards dress there were very different and they had rather liberal views overall. For some reason my wife felt threatened by this and reacted by starting to dress like they wish she always had at the pentecostal church. I wondered what was going on, and after a while I just flat out told her I was sick of the little house on the prarie look. She was shocked that I said that but also I think she was glad. I think she needed someone to snap her out of this little funk she'd gotten in. She is now almost 40 and looks really good in her clothes. The woman would make a burlap sack look good.
<br>I getting long winded here but al this is a round about way of saying that you should be honest with your husband about these things. If he is overweight he should get it down because it is unhealthy. Also it detracts from the credibility of a Christian witness because to be overweight is to show you lack discipline. And there can be no real Christian life and walk without discipline, despite the sugar coated pablum that passes for the gospel in too many churches.
<br>But it also sounds like this is a potential opportunity for you to evaluate yourself. Paul said we should test ourselves to see if we are in the faith. Ask yourself just exactly what some of your reasons are for disliking your husband's present bodily image. If some of it is unchangable then why worry? Are any of your reasons tracable to a vain attitude? Physical appearance is important. I don't go along with those pious sounding folk who talk about looking only on the heart. That's generally because they feel hamstrung by their appearance and want people to bypass it.
<br>My wife jogs a lot and looks great. I jog also and lift weights. No, I'm not Charles Atlas. But I tend to pick up weight easy if I don't exercise and it's hard enough to keep it off when I do. I am not going to accompany my good looking wife in public with a gut hanging over my belt. That would subject her to certain things from people that she shouldn't have to bear simply because I'm not disciplined enough to control my appetite. Not only that but the psychological drag being fat places on you interfers with your whole outlook. Yes, I know many fat people do outstanding things, but they'd do a lot more if they weren't fat.
<br>I'm really, really rambling now. Sorry to go off track that far, but I hope you see what I'm getting at.
