My wife and I have been seperated for 13 months and I still feel like I'm dying inside daily. She told me she was leaving last Sep. because she has lost the in love feelings. I told her that I would leave instead of disrupting the children and having them move. After 4 months we went to counsling with the pastor of our church and she told me there that she wanted a divorce and walked out after the pastor told her that she was wrong and that she could never be married again in Gods eyes. I stayed and talked a while with the pastor and called her when returing home to tell her not to give up her faith and God would forgive her. We put the house up for sale a couple days later, when the sighn went up both our hearts dropped so we agreed that I would buy her out and keep the house in case she changed her mind, the family would still have a home. For the next few months she hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. I got 2 phone calls from men she was dating asking for her while I was there wathcing my 2 sons, onf of them I had a conversation with and he told me he felt bad for me. in July I discovered she was back on birth control pills and I crumbled. I then out of anger or what ever had sex with a female friend, no feelings what so ever. Next day I felt so dirty and ashamed of myself and its been eating at me ever since. I told my mother in law that I knew she was on birth control and she told me that the doctor put her on them because her period was all screwed up, now I really felt bad for breaking my vowels and sleeping with the OW. Since then my wife has opened up and told me that she has been self cenered and does not like the way she feels. In sept my lease was up and she moved to an apartment and said it was something she had to do but cried for about a week and told me she respects me and dident realize how difficult it was to leave. She has since given me cards of encouragement and small gifts just because she knew I liked them. She has also expressed to her mom that she wants to start as friends and that I have looked good to her. In Sep I filed for divorce for two reasons 1 because I said I would do it for her and 2 because I slept with the other woman. I just got the final paper to sign from the lawer and I'm scared to death to sign and go thru with it. Do I just not sign and let her do it. Am I just kidding myself that theres hope? She did take the money for the house and moved out. I'm so confused and hurting badly. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
<br>Ken

Hi Ken:
<p>I'm kinda new here, and Lord knows I'm no expert on marital bliss. But since you asked....
<p>I'm not real familiar with divorce laws. But I assume that your wife can divorce you without your consent. You seem torn about whether to go through with the divorce. Is it what YOU want? Do you know if it's what your wife wants? If you are wondering whether there's any hope left, maybe you wouldn't want to sign the final papers, or at least stall awhile. If she is determined to leave, then she'll divorce you anyway. But if she's vacillating (and it seems she may be), then it seems that signing the papers would slam the door shut, right when your wife might be willing to open it an inch or so.
<p>BTW, this is NOT the 'voice of experience' here--just a gut feeling. If I'm full of it, feel free to tell me! I'm just trying to navigate this ocean, myself!
<p>Doug